back in sudan

here I am in Yei, south Sudan again! It's been well over a year since I could travel into the field, what with the health risks during pregnancy and then a new baby, but I am making up for it over the past month. Anthony is a particularly gender-aware Kenyan (usually an oxymoron), and actively encouraged me to get traveling again. Though my office is in Nairobi, most of NPA's Sudan programme actually takes place in Sudan (go figure), and I have a duty to be there.

The first trip was HARD... for me, not the baby!! I went to Yei about 3 weeks ago for 4 whole nights. I cried every time I talked to Anthony because I couldn't believe I had left Toby! I felt horrendously guilty... though Toby was just fine, of course. The next time was a bit easier, though it was only for 2 nights to Juba, capital of South Sudan. I went again to Juba, and now am back in Yei. I feel a lot more comfortable leaving him now, though I often wonder if I am doing any damage to his developing psyche. Not that he'll remember the specifics, but maybe having an unreliable mum is not good for his brain development. Then I remember that his beloved Baba, Gigi, Leah, and Modesta are there, and I'm sure he's still trusting in that his "people" are there for him, even if I'm not....

The first time I came home, he was playing on the floor with Modesta, and couldn't believe his eyes when I walked through the door. He was so shocked! His arms flew up in the air, he did a double take, and he rushed over to greet me, grinning like no tomorrow. I was very relieved that neither had he forgotten me, nor was he mad. The next times he was happy to see me - more like the normal way when I return from work in Nairobi, but he spends a lot longer on the hugs. So I guess he's getting used to it.

I had wanted to bring him to Yei with me - it's a very pleasant place, we are well catered for in the camps, and I could easily hire a local lady to take care of him while I work. Unfortunately, they also have malaria, meningitis, and measles around here, though the chances of contracting anything would be pretty small in the camps. Our chief medic asked me, 'Now tell me again exactly why do you want to risk your baby's life??' It would be easier to have him here, and I'd be able to stay in the field longer, but I just can't take the risk.

Anthony's in a gender class now at the University, and his classmates are in awe of his ability to take care of a baby while his wife travels. Pretty special guy, that Antonio! I missed Valentine's Day but left him a box of chocolate cherry kisses and a card for the best husband in Kenya ;)