Khisas... from Kenya to Canada

Tad recap

2009-12-08T14:50:00.004-04:00

Aw, there's my little muffin! These are some of his 1 year photos (taken by Sabrina at her stylin' downtown studio). Raising two kids is exponentially more busy than one (no time leftover for blog writing!). Tad is a very happy baby, with the widest grin you can imagine. He started walking at 11-1/2 months, and says a few words now, notably: hiiiiiiiiiii!, heddo, uh oh, mm mm (for thank you - says it in the right context!), baba, and mama/ma/mum. He is practicing shaking his head no, and nodding yes - up until recently, every question was answered with nah and a shake. He loves to sing to himself, and grins proudly when you sing along with him.

Tad loves his big brother - though he prefers from a distance! Unfortunately for him, Toby smothers his baby brother with love... always going for his hair (Toby loves hair), dragging him around, and generally mauling him. Better than kicking him I suppose (though they have started to wrestle a bit lately - both giggling wildly!). Tad imitates Toby, like when he tried to "jump" up and down in his crib (while hanging onto the rail) as Toby's jumping on his own bed, blasting his Dora CD.

Tad's got lots of toys & interests, and eats pretty much anything all on his own now (though messily, go figure!). He loves yogurt, bananas, and peanut butter. He sleeps well - 99% of the time, it's 8pm to 8am, with no waking at all (YAY!). Tad goes to daycare at the Y baby room full time, and just loves it. He's social, happy, and very well adjusted! Only very rarely does he cry - when I can't make his bottle fast enough, or he's got a poopy bum (and who wouldn't!).

He is well loved by family & friends alike, and always does us proud. We love our Happy Baby!

Kenyan Ugali

2009-07-21T14:00:00.002-03:00

Have had a few requests, so thought I'd post it for all to see!

(1) Buy maize flour - it must be white corn meal, not regular corn meal - buy from health food store or African shop. It's a bit fine and not as gritty as yellow corn meal, but not as fine as wheat flour.

(2) Boil "enough" water on the stove - probably 1.5-2 cups for 2 people.

(3) While still boiling on a hot burner (turn down to med-high at this point), dump in "enough" maize flour to mound up slightly above the boiling water.

(4) Mix with a wooden stick or hard spatula - slowly at first to avoid splashing, then quickly as more maize flour is incorporated. Break up any clumps and keep stirring/pushing it against the side of the pot for about 2-3 min - it will get very hard to do!

(5) Shape it in the pot to cover the bottom and let it sit uncovered on a medium burner for about 4-5 min. It's good if the bottom gets brown but not burnt! There should be lots of steam coming up through it, and it should sort of lift off of the bottom of the pot.

(6) Flip the pot onto a plate and it should just come out with not too much urging. If it won't come out, it's probably not cooked enough, or there's either too much or not enough water.

(7) Shape into a smooth mound with a wide/soup bowl and keep it covered until ready to eat with any any tomato-based stewed meat or veggies (add lots of cilantro to meat/chicken to make it taste Kenyan).

Let me know if you try it - and how it turned out of course!!!

almost 3 months

2009-01-14T22:02:00.003-04:00

Taddi Babes is moving right along - full out grins, cooing, and gurgles are the norm, with the occasional quack. He urgently requests my attention when we're sitting together on the couch by waving his arms, telling stories, and smiling winningly (with frequent kicks in the arm). He is very strong, standing upright at any opportunity - pretty much since day 1, like his brother. He's tall and has long feet - he's grown out of the 0-3 month clothes and is even wearing some 6 month clothes now. He's getting good practice with his hands and makes this cute concentrating face, tightening his upper lip, when he's trying to grab something. He especially likes his zebra block toy that he got from Santa.

I've also notices his ears tip out at the top - wonder where he got that from ;-) (other than that, I don't see much Voerman in him). Everyone thinks he looks like Toby, except for me. They both have Anthony's eyebrows, but are otherwise pretty distinct. However, when Toby sees his own baby pictures, he thinks it's Tad ;-)

Health wise, I'm sure everyone's relieved to know that he poops a whole lot - liquidy & bright yellow, about 6-8 a day. Very difficult to get that stain out! We think he's starting to teethe as he's been uncommmonly fussy a few times, and one time I gave him a little dose of ibuprofen after 2 hours of inconsolable crying that seemed like pain to me. We've since gotten prepared with some Orajel & teethers. He still sleeps quite a bit, having most of his wakeful periods in the afternoon & evening. We have managed to get him to sleep more often in the crib than Toby did, but the last feeding at night often finds him falling asleep in our bed, with me right along with him. Gotta get him out before he gets stuck there! However, he mostly sleeps through the night, usually waking only once between 4-6am to feed.

Anthony gave him a haircut the other day - now he has his own cute little fade, just like Toby and Baba!

This is us writing this blog - see the concentrating face?? ;-)

happy new year!

2009-01-01T02:46:00.004-04:00

Here we are celebrating in a blizzard - quite different from last year!

Tad was not terribly excited, though he refused to sleep before midnight (Toby, on the other hand, had passed out hours before - definitely a turnaround!). We stayed in, since I'm attached at the boob, and it's difficult to get a babysitter anyways. sonJa and Vanessa came over and we had Kenyan samosas, various apps, and bad punch (according to V!)

Toby & Tad have both been sick - Toby with the ears again, and Tad caught Toby's perennial cold. He's got a heart breaking cough, losing his breath and all snorty. He's been more fussy than usual and his sleep is off. Other than that, he is gaining well - up to 12 lbs - and learning new tricks every day.

He was 2 months old on Christmas Eve, and has just discovered his hands - he bats at baby toys and often goes for my cleavage. He sleeps pretty well most of the time, and spends a fair amount of time gazing at Toby. He also likes editing videos and dancing to African music with Baba, and recognizes his other peeps with smiles and gurgles (Auntie V, Gungie, and Opa).

Tad wasn't very interested in Christmas, but Toby was the perfect age for his first visit from Santa. When he saw the Diego doll under the tree, he said, I asked Santa for roller skates, but he brought Diego - it's okaaaay, and headlocked the full size Diego. I guess he thought Santa only brings one gift per person, so tried to give us the other items under the tree. Once he realized he could have more than one present, he happily opened the box with the roller skates - and then said, what are these?? I guess he had no idea what roller skates actually were when he asked the daycare Santa for them.. But he loved everything about Christmas - especially helping Auntie V dish out the gifts - for you you, for you you, is this one for ME? with a high pitched squeal. He was delighted and delightful... not yet a brat, and hopefully won't be!

Taddi-Babes

2008-12-06T12:52:00.004-04:00

There's our new boy! He arrived 6 weeks ago already, and this is the first chance I've had to write. Tad is wonderful! And Toby really loves being a big brother (the 'hugest brother in the whole wide world,' actually...)

I worked up to the last minute, after light labour all day Thursday, and more intense labour starting about 2am Friday morning. In fact, we ended up going to the hospital a bit late - at 8cm! We thought he'd be born any minute, but he was stubborn. I was stubborn too, so even though delivery seemed imminent, I made them give in and give me an epidural.... what a miracle! (the epidural, not the baby... yet!). After a few hours of intense pushing, they figured out that his head was a bit turned - to profile instead of face down. We had to go into the operating room for forceps. Poor Anthony had no idea what they were up to - he was pale as a ghost, and look like he wished he could sink through the floor. I got them to explain, and Anthony agreed - out popped Tad a few minutes later - with his head blown out to one side! I said he was pretty damned ugly, but I was lying... and crying... and soooo happy!

We stayed in the hospital for 2 nights - the IWK is fabulous and we were well looked after... I wished I could stay! But coming home was great - Anthony's a wonderful Dad, and helps out a lot with housework, surprisingly. Mum brought meals in and helped me with errands and chores for the first few weeks, and Auntie V was another willing helper. Uncle Jake got to see him a couple weeks later after his hitch. Though Toby's still in daycare full time, sometimes I miss having a housegirl!! I am finding it a bit stressful with a toddler and a newborn, but it's all coming together - I will get used to it in time!

Toby's at the Farmer's Market with our upstairs neighbour right now, and Anthony went to New Brunswick with Rollie to help him chop wood for the winter... (I figured he should get a taste of true Canadian winter ;-) Tad's sleeping away and I have finally had the opportunity to post. I will try to be a bit more regular from now on, as I love having the record of all of Toby's firsts!

At six weeks, Tad's practicing his smiles like crazy; lifts his head a little when on his tummy; certainly recognizes me, as well as Anthony and Toby; drinks expressed milk from a bottle when I need to go out; sleeps for 4-5 hours at a time though often then feeds for 2-3 hours after that; and is generally a joy and a delight... yay!

long lost Khisas

2008-07-30T09:56:00.003-03:00

So much has happened that I will get into the details at a later date. The crux of the story is that Toby and I traveled to Canada in April for a holiday, with Anthony planning to join us for a month or so in May...meanwhile, we decided to stay!! This decision was primarily a result of several factors; notably, a) discovering I was pregnant so therefore b) not being able to follow the work into Sudan, and then c) being beaten up & thrown in jail by the Kenyan police while a) pregnant. I just could not go back... with Toby & #2 on the way, I think I've had enough of insecurity, thank you! We scrambled and got Leah & Gigi in boarding school in Kitale (Anthony's hometown) till AK's a permanent resident.

The rest all fell into place (with a bit of shoving on my part ;-)....

- got beautiful flat in Halifax near the Hydrostones
- got a snappy cherry red VW Jetta TDI
- got a cool job at Concertia.com with lots of familiar faces

We are due on or around Oct 19, and it's a boy! AK's here at least until then - everyone's fingers must be crossed that he can stay in our wonderfully safe country with us for a long long time!

SPLM training

2008-02-19T03:50:00.002-04:00

I am working in Yei, Sudan - this time in the Community Development vocational training centre in Yei town. I am facilitating the assessment, reporting, and IT content for a 2-week workshop for SPLM Information Officers. SPLM is the Sudan People's Liberation Movement (not the Army) that is now transforming into a political party. Three Information Officers have been flown in from each of the 10 states. Their role is public relations, reporting, and record keeping, so they are being trained on journalism, translation, and information management techniques.

As for the IT part, 25 of the 40 are comfortable on computers - though only 22 speak English. All of our sessions must be simultaneously translated into Arabic. This will be fine for lectures, but I am still wondering how we will do practical computer sessions... We will give extra sessions in the evenings for the beginners, and the ones who are comfortable will learn photo editing, newsletter production, and have practicals in online communication tools. I will also give a session on networking, VSATs, and security.

We are staying at the garden-like Food Security camp in Logobero, just outside of the town - I am accompanied by Monica, my Swedish NPA colleague Goran's girlfriend, who is leading a separate workshop in the tailoring department of the vocational centre.

Better get back to my presentation.... more later!

tinkle arr

2008-02-06T15:09:00.000-04:00

Toby's been talking for ages now, so I thought I'd post a few of his 21-month-old phrases:

Tinkle arr up a ky how I wa what you are – he mostly ‘knows’ the whole song

Down-down-down-PLOP – from the book ‘Are you my mother?’

e-i-e-i-ohhhh – old macdonald

word that always makes me laugh: aaaaa-nuna-one? – presenting another foot to be socked, hand to be washed, asking for another bite, anything!

Toby idunno – usual answer to questions

want Toby cookie Mum– or anything! He’s up to 3- or 4-word sentences now

Thank you mum – very polite

Sorry...sorry – said very convincingly, with a pat on the head and a kiss, when anyone is mildly hurt or when he does something wrong. Hard to stay mad at.

Baba go dwivin’ – he loves going in the car

I ya you mum (I love you)

Pee potty! – when he needs to go, and usually makes it! Only 2-3 accidents a day now, and wakes up dry!

Greetings/responses:
what is your name? Toby Khisa
how are you? Fine. habari yako? Zuri. sasa? Fit. mambo? Poa.
how old are you? four (he lies)
bye bye, good night, nighty-night, 'morrow (as in see you tomorrow), you too (response to 'sweet dreams')

Toby is such a joy - active & bright, sweet & cuddly, rarely cranky, and very social. He can usually count up to 5 on his own in both English & Swahili (though we haven't really started him on Swahili other than a handful of words). He picks up on everything we say, and constantly amazes us all!

all ok in Nairobi

2008-02-06T12:48:00.000-04:00

Though there is chaos in various parts of the country, we are all fine in Nairobi, and also our family in Kitale. Koffi Annan is here now and hopefully those negotiations will bear fruit. There is not much difference to our lives, though the area in which we travel is constrained, and the shilling is losing value daily. Not SO bad for me since I get/got paid in USD - more shillings for me! But some prices have correspondingly gone up, notably fuel. Up to 90 Ksh/l, which is about CAD$1.30/l. And since the USD is also falling, it really sucks to send my USD back to my Canadian bank account and get LESS Canadian dollars!

Speaking of our home in Kitale, we found out the other day that a eucalyptus tree was felled in the wrong direction - and crashed into our house! These are at least 20m tall, so I think our little mudhouse is fairly squashed. But the perpetrators are going to repair everything, so I expect it should be ok.

I will likely be going to Yei next week sometime to do some IT training for the SPLM - they haven't confirmed the dates, but it will be my first post-job NPA contract! As well I have been pursuing various options in Kenya, Rwanda, and Sudan. We'll see what pans out, but it's looking good!

We will hopefully submit the Canada application next week - we just have to get a bunch of photos and book a full day for the official medical examinations. Most everything else is collected, though I do need to get a couple of documents from Kitale. Not sure how to do that since it isn't really safe to travel on the highway through Naivasha/Nakuru/Eldoret - which is the only way to Kitale! I may submit the pplication with a letter stating why we couldn't get those items yet, and forward later in the process. It'll take 8-9 months minimum for them to process us anyways....!

I've been meaning to post a Toby update, so I'll do that next.

arrived in nairobi!

2008-01-09T04:35:00.001-04:00

The road was so good & safe, it was anticlimactic! We left at 9am, and arrived at 6pm - absolutely no problems whatsoever. I will post a few photos of some of the senseless destruction, but generally everything road-related was cleared by the time we went through. We joined a couple of bus convoys but police were no longer escorting regular cars - we stopped and checked in Eldoret and they said the road was clear, and that we could proceed safely. They did have helicopters monitoring the highway, however.

It's good to be back!!

still in kitale

2008-01-05T11:36:00.000-04:00

We have heard that fuel is now trickling into Kitale gas stations, so we are planning our next move. We will likely get gas tomorrow (Sunday), and, depending on the safety on the roads, we may travel to Nairobi on Tue or Wed. Many renegade road blocks on the main highway have been removed, and we can go by military escort convoy from Kitale to Eldoret, Eldoret to Nakuru, and probably Nakuru to Naivasha or Nairobi. We have heard troubling reports about the stretch closest to Nairobi, where they are allegedly only letting Kikuyus and Mzungus (whites) pass through. Though I 'pass,' Anthony & the kids do not....

One of the doctors at Anthony's office (he works for a British medical NGO, MERLIN), has arranged a charter flight to pick people up in Kitale, Eldoret, and Naivasha. We were offered space - but only for Anthony, Toby, and myself - meaning we would have to leave Leah, Kevin, and the car in the village. As far as I'm concerned, I don't want to split the family up - who knows when it would be safe to travel (by bus) up to Kitale, then back with the kids to Nairobi. So I voted to wait until we get fuel and confirmation on the safety of the roads, and we go together.

Thankfully, neither one of us is expected to report to work until the situation is safe, so we can wait it out in safety here. As before, I'm in the Kitale Club, sneaking another blissful shower and charging my gear. Since our car has no fuel, we took a crappy bike and walked/doubled about 6-7 km to the nearest place that we could catch a vehicle to Kitale... now it's almost dark, and we have the return journey to face!

My phone may not be on all the time to conserve battery, but we are all ok & safe in the village!

update on kenya situation

2008-01-03T11:23:00.001-04:00

Hi all, thanks everyone for the messages, texts & calls - we are ok!! I decided to post a blog entry, which will also update on Facebook, because I have very limited access to power/internet right now. We've been outside of Kitale - about 8 hours by road from Nairobi - since Dec 22. The election was held on Dec 27, but results were not released until Dec 30. I was (previously) a supporter of Mwai Kibaki, the incumbent, based on his decent track record and no-nonsense work ethic. However, I was shocked - along with millions of Kenyans - to see the lead suddenly turn from Raila-Raila-Raila-Raila during the counting period to, all of a sudden - oops, Kibaki won! Now the country is in chaos, as you've been seeing on the news. I won't go into all of it, except to say how we are affected...

We are staying at Anthony's home village, Lol-Keringet, which is about 4km from the main (paved) road and then we hop a couple of fences surrounding a forest to get to his place. We either drive the car way around this forest, though fields and people's yards, or leave it at a neighbour's place and walk in. Right now, the whole town of Kitale has no fuel - gas stations are closed, and most of the shops that open at all close around 3pm. Some phone lines are cut,
including the one for my ATM. I shopped today with the credit card, which thankfully worked, stocking up on essentials since we might not be able to drive to Kitale town again until they have fuel. Our office was supposed to open today, but as of now, it will be Monday at the earliest. All the Kenyans (and almost-Kenyans) are in their village homes, and since the roads are barricaded and generally unsafe, we are all stuck. Without fuel!

I have seen huge fires burning on Mount Elgon, and heard rumors of houses closer to home being burnt. The main issue is tribal - the opposition, Raila Odinga, a Luo, has the support of most of the tribes, but the incumbent (and now sworn-in for a second term) is from the majority tribe, the Kikuyu. So if you are from a tribe that is likely to have voted for the Kikuyu - such as a Kikuyu yourself - you are a target. Anthony is from the second largest tribe, the Luhya, who are known to be fairly neutral (thankfully!), and, in this area, the Kalenjins (part of the opposition) are few in comparison.

Therefore, we are not really in any danger... just a lot of inconvenience! There is apparently a curfew from 6pm, and very few cars or public transportation on the roads at any time. We hear the occasional drunken shouts & even someone getting beaten up in "our" forest. Otherwise, we're not moving at night - not even to a New Year's Eve party at a neighbours on the other side of the woods!

Since we had planned to only stay for a few days in Lol-Keringet, our supplies, clothes, diapers, and batteries are running out. But we have been saved from total mud hut life by having access to the Kitale Club - much more exclusive than our club in Nairobi, but luckily they accept our membership card! I snuck into the ladies golf club locker room & had my first hot-clean-running-water shower today in 12 days! This was our first time out in about 3-4 days, so now I
have everything charged up as well. But... it's getting dark, so we better get home. Since our car is on E, we will wait until we have news that the town has fuel until we come out again. But my phone should be on, and I get my khisa.com mail on it (hopefully the battery will last!).

Again, thanks for your thoughts & concerns. I wish everyone a peaceful, happy new year.

Christmas in Kenya

2007-12-05T05:06:00.000-04:00

...thought I would answer this to contrast Christmas in Canada with Kenya!!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? The easiest - gift bags. Though in Kenya they use plastic bags ;-) I usually give out a few beaded items to most of Anthony's family, no wrapping. We will also get his mother some new clothes and/or fabric and shoes. He already bought her a nice luxurious blanket.

2. Real tree or artificial? In Kenya we use a small floppy cyprus tree that Anthony's brother & I decorate. It really looks like Charlie Brown's tree, but is pretty unique among the mud huts - looks very festive!

3. When do you put up the tree? When we get upcountry - maybe on the 23rd this year.

4. When do you take the tree down? Anthony's brother Joshua will do that after we leave. Not sure how long we'll stay this year, but Anthony is determined to take us to Uganda. We want to avoid Kenya during and after the elections, which will be on Dec 27th. So we'll cross at Mount Elgon, visit relatives there, head down to Kampala via Jinja, and hopefully stay in a lodge/resort for a couple of days.

5. Do you like eggnog? Holy crap yes. I miss it already!!

6. Do you have a nativity scene? We don't really decorate per se, but there are some cute African nativity scenes I brought back for Mum & V!

7. Hardest person to buy for? Always Dad. In fact I have no idea what I'm gonna do for them this year - what will I do???

8. Easiest person to buy for? Kids.

9. Best Christmas gift you ever received? A trip home to Canada - oh wait, that hasn't happened (yet!) hahah

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I've received some pretty tacky stuff over here..... a dolphin scene comes to mind.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? I hand some out over here, and may remember to email them back home ;-)

12. Favourite Christmas movie? I always loved watching the Wizard of Oz at Christmas time. Bought the storybook for the kids the other day.....

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Shopping? Oh yeah, I guess I better do that. No what am I gonna do about Canadian family!!!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Definitely

15. Favourite thing to eat at Christmas? Lime mold! I will really miss it. But I made a full chicken dinner a couple of weeks ago (turkey is hard to come by) so I will be ok eating goat, chapatis, mandazis (no bacon), and rice at Anthony's home.

16. Clear lights or coloured on the tree? No electricity... no lights!

17. Favourite Christmas song? Go tell it on the Mountain

18. Travel or stay home for Christmas? Eight-hours each way over VERY rough roads.... btw, this will be Toby's first trip home since he was 5 months old - when Renee was here Sept 2006! Since Anthony was in unveristy with classes on Friday evenings & Saturdays, we never really had a chance to get there on a weekend, and his leave days were all used for studying... it will be great to be there for a while and get used to it again!!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Yup. Which reminds me, I should teach Leah & Gigi that song! Toby's getting E-I-E-I-O and Twinkle Twinkle down, so we'll have to start him on Christmas tunes too!!

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? I think we use a star.

21 Tinsel or no tinsel? I found some garland in Kitale so that will have to do!

22. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Hmm, I think I give out the gifts on Christmas day. No one else gives gifts except for me. I give toys and kids stuff to Leah & Gigi to give out to their cousins & friends but they are not allowed to keep anything. We buy lots of sweets, lollipops etc for everyone as well. I give Leah & Gigi their Christmas gifts (1 of clothing, book, toy for each) once we are back in Nairobi. Toby still won't really know anything about Xmas so I don't have to worry about him! - though he loves ba-baps! (lollipops)

23. What do you want for Christmas? A job for next year ;-)

24. Turkey or Goose? Goat.

25. Do sugar plums dance in your head? Not on a regular basis!

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!!

singing too

2007-10-25T12:18:00.000-03:00

I forgot to mention that not only does Toby sing along with various songs (like Rhianna's umbrella song - "ella ella ella" is Toby's version!), if I'm not mistaken, he also makes up his own! My favourite is the one that goes "baby, mama... baby, mama... baby, mama." All songs are accompanied by one of several dancing styles - baby, mama is usually a swaying dance with lots of smiles!!

who knew that babies do this?? I am constantly surprised by this guy ;-)

speaking lots

2007-10-25T06:15:00.001-03:00

When I got back from Sudan last time (after 2.5 long weeks), Toby sounded more like a little boy - he's got tonnes of new words, and can finally say La (Leah), Mon-KA (Monica), Modi (Modesta) now. He combines a few words (like Mum-juice-baby, or door-ope), tries to take off his own shirt and put on his own or my shoes, intermittently pees in the potty (we won't dwell on the poop in the bathtub), and runs & jumps really fast. He shocked me by repeatedly somersaulting on the bed as well!

I'm back in Sudan now - in the peaceful green heaven of Yei - and have been talking to him every day on the phone. The conversation generally consists of "Hi Mum Hewwo Mum Hi Mum Hi Mum Baba Mum Hi Mum Hewwo Mum" but it's music to my ears!!

he's 18 months today.. unbelievable!

an evening in Juba

2007-10-16T15:36:00.000-03:00

from a couple of weeks ago while I was in Juba for almost 3 weeks...

Juba is the new wild west. The wide dusty streets offer anything you can think of, in a distinctly ad hoc, improvised manner. Land cruisers and Prados fly down the roads, careening around potholes and each other, in search of the latest hotspot. And a hotspot in Juba is certainly hot!

Flies are everywhere and the heat is unreal. Either you deal with it or you suffer. The contrast of places we saw last night is from top to bottom, from bottom to top.

There’s a new Chinese place over by the university, we were told – excellent food, and prices are not bad - for Juba. Turns out to be the same price as a regular Chinese place in Canada, so that’s really not bad. But we were in a metal pre-fab building – leaving the relatively cool air of the mid-evening to suffer in an airless metal box that’s been baking in the sun all day. They have a glass Chinese server in the middle of a table that can fit all of us, and we stick around. Ken orders for all of us, including medium hot and sour and chicken noodle soups – each enough for 8! Everything was great, and we were truly impressed. On to the next place.

Home & Away is the newest venue in town – a complex of permanently built restaurants, bars, and conference halls. It’s where we’re having the NPA Expo next weekend, so I’ve been there quite a bit in the past week organizing and sampling their fare. Admirable pad thai for lunch the same day, and now we’re back for a post-Chinese drink. The place is filled with young Sudanese men in baggy new clothes, and young ladies from all over East Africa in tight ones. This is the young elite crowd – sons of ministers and others who benefited in corruption deals like the place itself, which is rumoured to be partially owned by a former Finance Minister in the fledging Southern Sudanese government. The President is there, in the conference hall where we’ll hold our Expo next weekend, along with his military detail. It’s rather smarmy to be here, and we vacate.

Now, we’ve been invited to the Joint Donor Office, a grand complex with air as cold as freezers, and even smarmier than Home & Away because it’s all expats. Outside the fence are the huts typical of most of the population, some even propped up lamely by the imported spiked iron fence. The furniture is Danish and the party is Dutch – someone’s leaving Juba. I grab one of the many nice bottles of red wine, and though we were invited, we see almost no-one we know – NPA doesn’t usually move in the high-end embassy/donor crowd. We leave.

We drop off the former director of NPA, who’s now here as a consultant, at the guesthouse, and we head toward the next party to crash. I’m driving, with Theo our Tanzanian chef as my guest and passenger. We follow Ken Miller as I didn’t want to chance ending up stranded in case he decides to stay somewhere, so we’re in separate 4x4s. The Sunflower camp is on the River Nile, and the people we were supposed to see at the last party are magically here instead. Bryan Adams gets us onto the dancefloor, we dance under the Juba sky, and plan our next move.

The Heron – an Ethiopian camp a little way up the river, where we expected to meet up with our Ethiopian colleagues – is closed, but the Juba Bridge next door has a live band, complete with an Ethiopian singer. My attempts at shoulder dancing are appreciated – Ethiopian dancing is all about the shoulders, along with funny head and chin movements – but I’m afraid I don’t do it much justice, despite my colleague Ezana’s many lessons. We close the place and move on.

The next stop is hell’s oven – a smouldering bread-making factory in Juba town. What a place. I really have no idea why this is included on Ken’s after-midnight tour. Tall sweating Sudanese men are baking thousands of small loaves to be delivered for the morning’s breakfast all over the city. The heat is indescribable, and the industry of these all-night workers is jaw-dropping. Bread is shovelled out of huge ovens onto waiting tables, all very orderly and systematic. I didn’t realize the work that goes on at this time of night and in these conditions. Inspiring. We grab 25 loaves or so, and head out.

The last stop is a complete departure from the high-end swanky joints we started out in – we are now in a local local bar, filled with hundreds of young animal men, and about 3 women including me. I was mobbed, swarmed, grabbed, pinched, groped, and gawked at. I literally swatted them away like flies. I zeroed in on the women and tried to make friends, hoping to dance together like we women do at western clubs, in our own space. I pushed the men away and told them RESPECT the ladies! The other women were suffering much more – for me, it’s only a novelty, and I’m able to shove the guys and get away with it. They, on the other hand, were practically being raped on the floor. These young men, most likely ex-soldiers, have not one clue between them about social norms and etiquette. I didn’t feel threatened, since Ken & Theo were still there, but very close to it. Out back of the bar was a stinking pit of urine soaked dust, and I saw ladies pulling their pants down just along the side of the building – no safe place to pee, for going into the one block of pit latrines would guarantee they would not get relief, but much worse. It was awful, and real – where true gender awareness must make an impact, and soon. I was happy to leave.

We bounced along the craters and mud holes called roads, and arrived at the guesthouse at the same time as Ezana and Dr Elias. They had gone back to Home & Away, which turned into a nightclub after the President had left, full of young beautiful Sudanese diaspora and government kids.

An even, average standard of living seems impossible in this place. Juba is competing with Tokyo for the most outrageously expensive capital city in the world. Money can buy anything, and you can have all of the comforts of Denmark or Thailand here in this unbelievable backwater if you have enough of it. If you don’t, living in Juba can be hell itself.

my first car crash

2007-08-22T17:35:00.000-03:00

Ok, here’s the scoop… last Friday night, Anthony and I innocently prepared to head to town along Ngong Road. I was going to drop him at the bus station so he could travel upcountry to Kitale for the weekend. After fuelling, I pulled out onto a dark & wet Ngong Rd, and straight into another vehicle. I didn’t see him at all. Though Anthony was yelling (rather softly) YAYAYAY, I didn’t attach much meaning to that until I heard crack-crunch. I had been looking at the oncoming traffic on my right, and plowed into someone heading the same direction I was on my left. My left headlight area hit his right – no injuries, no major damage.

The other driver came out shouting & screaming, and of course I gave it right back to him. He said he had the right of way and I shouldn’t have crashed into him, and I told him he was an idiot for seeing me and stubbornly refusing to stop just because he was in the right. He yelled over me and kept saying it was my fault, till I finally got back into the car to get out of the conversation – that’s when he pulled out a walkie-talkie, and we finally figured out that he was police. I rolled up the window and just sat there, figuring my big mouth would get me in more trouble than I needed if I didn’t!

He turned out to be the District Traffic Officer – not just a mere police constable, but a big boss…

His officers came to the scene, and he became much more polite. One accompanied us back to the station – halfway there, I offered to stop at a bank machine so I could get out enough money for either a cash bail or a bribe, but Anthony & the constable decided against it. Kenyan police stations are just a collection of shacks that smell like criminals (Kenyan jails have the most horrible smell in the world, don’t ask me how I know). It was still raining & muddy, and we trooped into his tiny shack of an office. He tried to intimidate me with damages and figures about his insurance deductibles, but didn’t ask for a bribe, and didn't even charge me with anything – in fact we didn’t file any paperwork at all. He agreed to meet Anthony the next morning to find out how much the damage would cost, and then insisted I hand over my keys so they could detain my vehicle. There was no arguing on a wet Friday night, so I did. Anthony & I walked to one of our local watering holes and tried to revive our spirits...

The next day, we had lots of discussions about whose insurance would cover what, but I had a pretty good idea from my agent that all would be ok. I chased papers around all day on Monday, including heading to the police station again to record my statement, get a police abstract, pay Ksh.5000 ($75) cash bail, and actually get my car back. I was also served with papers to attend court the next day –ack! I went to the insurance company to file the claim, and basically the only complicating factor in this straight-forward case is the fact that I hit a police officer! He could make my life hell, considering he controls the police road blocks on all of the streets that lead to my house… he could demand a new bribe every day, or charge me with minor offenses at will (though I must say, not a single bribe innuendo received as yet!). The insurance company legal department advised me to plead not guilty in court – the basic ‘never admit liability’ advice.

Kibera Law Courts. Kibera is one of the biggest slums in Africa, housing over a million people in squalid conditions. Today, rainy season: mud and potholes, chickens and charcoal, garbage and fires, barbed wire and broken vehicles. But the court is a surprisingly well-maintained large building, with room for parking, and notice boards outside displaying the courtroom schedules. Courtroom 4 is like a big cell, painted grey with white trim, housing a few handmade pew-like benches, docks, and a magistrate’s desk. We are required to bow when entering and leaving the courtroom. It’s freezing, and slow, and also open on 3 sides, so too noisy to hear much of what’s going on. Lawyers, defendants, and witnesses are dressed in sagging second-hand suits with frayed collars, washed by hand and far too big. Prisoners are brought in through the back door to hear the postponement of their cases - if they don't have an advocate, no-one bothers to speed it up - and then they go back on the huge black prison bus to rot in jail. Those of us lucky to have paid the $75 cash bail are waiting on the pews until being called to the dock, respectful and contrite, to answer kweli or sikweli (guilty or not).

My name is called and no-one notices me moving towards the front. They are looking for a Kenyan man – Johanna is the Kiswahili translation for John the Baptist in the bible, and Khisa is obviously a Kenyan name – so I am overlooked. I wave and get ready to shout, and then finally the court clerk notices me and reads my charge: ‘Careless driving blah blah blah, true or not true?’ I answer not true, everyone looks surprised, and I’m asked to cough up another $75 for the court bail this time. I am escorted to the back where Anthony and a manager from my office are waiting, and I dig out the money. I wait around for another hour or so for my receipt and next court date, and off I go, a bit dubiously, into the cold Kibera air.

See, the court case could drag on for 5 years or more, and a warrant will be issued for my arrest if I fail to turn up for a court date, so I'm a bit worried. I contact my insurance company, and promise to send someone to represent me whenever I cannot attend. WHEW! But since they are the ones who want me to make a case out of it instead of simply pleading guilty and receiving a fine for much less than the cash bail, I figure it's all up to them anyway!

For now, I’ve done everything by the book, and I just need to follow up the details – get my car fixed, keep my nose clean – but I will keep you informed should anything exciting arise!!

spa dentist

2007-08-15T14:51:00.000-03:00

What a treat to have a day off in the middle of the week! I asked for an R&R day – we get one day off for every weekend spent in Sudan – so I could get to the airport to finalize my claim for the missing 3 shoes. I ended up with £113 – about $250. The only problem is, you can’t get good shoes here at a decent price – that why I buy 'em in Canada!! I figured the only ones I really need at this point are the sneakers so I can go to the gym; I'll leave the sandals until it's warmer weather here. I went over to Nairobi sports house at Yaya centre (after scoffing a great seafood penne at my new favourite Italian café) and ended up with a too-big pair of men’s Pumas. Oh well, at least I can work out again!

Since I had the day off, and I’ve been meaning to do it for a while, I went to the dentist. Strange how in Kenya you can just walk in and ask for a cleaning! Their office is in an old converted house – actually, I used to work there when I first came to Kenya – it’s the old VSFB office! But they’ve renovated and made it just smashing, complete with modern red leather sofas and a flat screen TV in the waiting room. That’s one of the reasons I felt comfortable going to this particular dentist: he obviously cares about appearances & comfort – a rare find in Kenya. Other dentist offices seems somehow disheveled, and the receptionists look at you like you’re from another planet – not exactly confidence-building.

But here, as I stretched out on the brand new dentist chair in his spacious office, a fountain gurgled outside, framed by an arbour of flowers and vines, and classical music played in the background… it felt like a spa! He's got all brand new equipment, and since I used to work in the building, I know exactly what he's done to improve it - new bathrooms, walls removed, decorator colours - the whole bit. The atmosphere was very calming and I can hardly wait to go back to get some cavities filled… haha! I also asked him about braces for my bottom teeth and a few other cosmetic touches – all things considered, I think it might be cheaper here, and I have one pushed-back tooth that I’ve always wanted to straighten out… why not go to a SPA DENTIST!!

15-month update

2007-08-12T07:43:00.000-03:00

Since this is a running record of Toby’s firsts, I thought I’d better include a history of his first words along with his progress - time overtakes us and soon it'll seem like he's always been doing this or that! At 15½ months, the words are coming fast and furious – he’s a prompt and accurate imitator, be it words or dancing, gestures, and other actions. He’s got a huge crinkly-nosed grin that he perfected while we were in Canada, much to the delight of his Auntie V & Gungie (my Mum), and he’s an experienced kisser, offering goodnight or anytime kisses to his big brother & sister. He loves group hugs – while being held by one of us, he will reach out for the other and hug both of us together. My Mum was the first person honoured with a group hug besides Anthony & myself. He will usually kiss me without prompting, though when I’m leaving for the office, he may refuse, but eventually he’ll at least wave. Modesta or Monica usually carries him downstairs so he can wave bye-bye as I drive away.

He wakes in the morning happy as a clam, offering crinkly grins & kisses, pointing at me and Baba, reading books, and playing with little bedside table toys. He doesn’t like being covered by blankets at all, and lately he’s been taking his pyjama bottoms off as well. He invariably walks around with only one sock on, unless he’s wearing Robeez – they stay on! He loves dancing, and lately his variation is twirling in a circle, and then wandering off on a dizzy spell. He can walk like a gorilla courtesy of Kevin, and started practicing jumping just the other day. He pulls us by the hand to where he wants us to go, and points at what he wants. He’s a pro at climbing and going down stairs – he’ll either grab a hand for support and walk just like an adult, or climb on his hand & knees, but he’ll get there!

His favourite toys are really books – he’s always been fascinated by books - though he likes stacking mega-block bus and trailer set we just got for him, a singing dog from Grandaddy’s caregiver Donna, a shape sorter from Robyn, and he definitely loves the Baby Mozart & Baby Einstein videos. His favourite toy of all would have to be a broom! And it must be full-sized – the baby one I got for him doesn’t hold very much interest.

His first twenty-odd words are…

Baba – I would have to say this was his first recognizable word - Daddy in Kiswahili (Mum-mum is very infrequent)! It must have been around 7-8 months.
Baby - everyone was a baby for a while, and he points to himself in the mirror or a photo as well. Again 7-8 months.
Kitty (kiti, titti, dits, diti) - at 8 months, he said this in Canada due to the many cats in his grandmother’s house, and never forgot it! Loves kitties!
Hello (hewo) – very early word, usually uses when picking up any object to use as a telephone, also says lots of hewos in the morning and when I come home from a trip. He often looks at me with his head turned sideways when greeting me!
Bye – waves & says bye to anyone leaving
Foot (doot) – can wash his own feet in the tub, and holds his foot up when I dress him
Up - first learned conceptual word where he understood the meaning in different contexts – to be picked up, to get up onto a chair or bed, etc. Usually hold his arms and says ‘up’ to be picked up. However, when picked up, also first used ‘up’ as a request to be put down!
Down (dow) – points at the floor and says ‘dow,’ starting to get the concept of down is opposite to up.
Book – knows all books are called books, not just his, etc.
Hot – definitely knows when something is hot, whether it’s food, milk, or something hot to the touch (may have something to do with the burn he got on the stove at 11 months!
Dog (dogo) – saw quite a few in Canada, and recognizes them all as dogo.
Eat (eett) – when he’s hungry, also means he wants milk/bottle
Eyes (ice) – points to eyes and hair, oddly enough
Shoes (ooz) – can also refer to socks, though he knows the difference when I say it
Juice (jis) – anything drinkable
All gone (aw-gone) – learned in Canada at 14 months, usually accompanied by outstretched hands palms up and surprised expression
Birds (bids) – learned in Norway among the seagulls of Sandoya
Bread (bed) – pretty sure he’s talking about bread, or a cracker, when he said bed
Okay – now has conversations on telephone-objects that include lots of hewos and okays. Also uses ‘okay’ to ask my permission - he picks something up, looks at me, and says ‘okay?’
Gigi – knows Kevin’s nickname
Ball (baw) – also learned how to kick it (important for a future Arsenal player)
Poop – pats his bum & says poop when he has one – started that in Norway at 14 months, and is fairly consistent. I hope this is a good sign for toilet training!
Bubble – very recent, could either be bubble or purple according to Leah.

Other ‘words’ he says but we can’t figure out a direct translation:

Dadaa! – usually a shout for my attention
Abu-baaabu – his own babble, often turned into a little song
Puchie-puchie – more babble
Ntaa – we think it means I want, so it’s similar to nataka (I want) in Swahili, but surely he doesn't know that!!
Coke – I don’t think he means pop, but I can’t figure out what it is. Might be yogurt.
Oka – may be Monica, may be okay, again I suspect it might be yogurt.

He also knows more words than he can say, of course, and understands simple instructions like Put it back, Give it to Baba, Changie bum, Shirt off, and, definitely, No. He also knows Toby sit, Toby eat, Toby come (rather like a dogo!! ;-). And whenever he does something he’s asked to do, he claps for himself.

Will post more as he learns’ em!

Oh, and a quick update – after 3 sleepless nights and days, where Toby sobbed for most of the day and even fell asleep in his dinner, we gave up on the crib training. It’s pointless when he shares our room, and we don’t have a choice about that right now. We’ll have to wait till we can bribe him ;-) Anthony fixed Toby's jetlag problem while I was away in Juba this past week, and he mostly sleeps through the night… that’s good enough for now!

earthquakes!!

2007-08-03T06:57:00.001-03:00

I have felt them!! yikes!!

From the Kenya Red Cross....

Earth Tremors Continue To Jolt Nairobi
1^st August 2007

An earthquake was felt in Nairobi and its environs once again early today, 1^st August 2007, with its epicentre in Tanzania. The earthquake, which measured 4.7 on the Richter Scale, occurred at 12:09am. This is part of a series of upto 18 intermittent tremors that have been experienced in the country for the past three weeks affecting mainly parts of Nairobi, Rift Valley, Eastern and Central Kenya. Kenyans, especially Nairobi residents who are not used to this phenomenon, have been in a state of panic due to the unceasing tremors with many expecting the worst.

The earthquakes originated from the active Ol Donyo Lengai Mountain in Tanzania near the Kenya border where the depth of the volcano is set at 10km below sea level. Due to the closeness of Nairobi to the area (about 200km), the impact of the earthquake has been felt through mild tremors that have shaken buildings. So far there have been no damages reported to the infrastructure or injuries to people.

As a result of the continuing tremors, Kenya Red Cross has positioned its Headquarters, Regional offices and Branches to prepare adequately in case of any eventuality. The Kenya Red Cross Branches on a high alert are Kajiado, Narok, Kiambu and Nakuru. An Emergency Response Meeting of stakeholders involving some government ministries and various humanitarian NGOs, including the Kenya Red Cross continues to meet regularly to discuss the tremors and other emergency details.

Summer in Canada

2007-07-29T17:52:00.000-03:00

Here we are back in Kenya again! I’m writing this with the terrible screams of Toby ripping through the house – we have decided to start training him to sleep alone in his crib. So far, not good. But leaving him with anyone else for the night is problematic – kind of an imposition to ask someone to sleep WITH your baby!! Tips on getting him to sleep in the crib would be helpful – but it’s too late to tell me that I should never have allowed him in my bed in the first place! I don’t actually regret it, as it has worked thus far in our family situation, and I feel closer to Toby for it, but I do hope he can also learn to sleep on his own. Poor little guy is seriously jet-lagged too.

The trip was (mostly) excellent, and though a poor sleeper, Toby is a great traveler. The only un-excellent part was coming down with malaria as soon as I got to Norway. Actually I had a fever the night before we traveled, and the thought crossed my mind that it could be malaria, but since I already had a cold, I misdiagnosed myself & dismissed the thought. I was fine on the plane, but when we landed in Norway, the fever came back but worse. The sickness went up and down, so one day I thought I was recovering, and the following day I was bedridden. We finally got some malaria medication – unfortunately, it was the kind that the Sudanese malaria parasites are resistant to. So that was another 3 days of hell, then Finn & Aslaug finally checked me into the hospital. I was quarantined and shipped by ambulance to a different hospital that had the correct medication via IV. Two nights later, I was all fixed up & ready to leave. Unfortunately, I did not have much time to enjoy the beautiful island of Sandoya, but Toby did! He was happy to stay with Finn, Aslaug, Anniken, Sikoi, and baby Alex for the duration, and I am ever so grateful to them for taking care of him.

Landed in Halifax in time to get to the Nickelback concert on the hill for Canada Day – what a fantastic rock show! Great songs, great musicians, great view, great concessions (no line-ups – even with 25,000 people there!). Glad I got to that one, because the Aerosmith production was not as F.I.N.E…. nothing on them, they were beyond excellent, but the stage & production in PEI left a lot to be desired – like being able to see the stage, or at least the screens, and horrendously long line-ups for every little thing. Like they didn’t know people would drink beer, and then (shocker) – go to the toilet!! So the trip was bookended by those shows – the Nickelback one reunited me, V, and Jake, together with Devon, Ian, and a few other of Jake’s friends, over many ice-cold cans of Keiths generously donated by the ROV guy. The Aerosmith show got 13 of the Persuaders crew over to a fabulous cottage on the island, stuffed us all into the band van to get to the concert, and made for lots of beer, laughs, and music throughout.

In between concerts, Toby & I went to a gay wedding; hosted the cottage party (where I fell asleep before midnight with the baby); visited his great-Oma in Cape Breton & great-Grandaddy in St Margaret’s Bay; visited many other babies, cousins, and friends; partied at Jeff & Donna’s; went to the zoo with SherBear and crew; hot-tubbed in Mahone Bay; had fabulous Greek food at Tom’s with the Florida aunties; and shopped in between (but not nearly enough!). We didn’t get to visit as many people as we would have liked to – many apologies. I have a few more gifties for Jenn O’Brien, Tracey Gant, and others that I never got to even dispense! But fitting Pictou, CB, Valley, Mahone Bay, and PEI into the trip meant a heck of a lot of logistics, and as much as I like to believe I can do everything… I can’t. Next time!!

Shannon & Philip’s wedding was classy & elegant – we all thoroughly enjoyed being part of their day. However, somehow I managed to completely forget about wedding tears, and cried through the whole freakin’ ceremony… and I was standing for Shannon!! And he thought he could look to me for support..! It was so nice that my Mum & Dad got a last-minute invite, and V & I took Jake & Devon as our dates – plus Donna, Jeff, Angela, Winston, Tracey, Ronnie, and lots of other good friends were there as well. I also had a great time the night before at the rehearsal with Shannon's & Philip's friends & families, walking along the pirated & tall-shipped waterfront to Hamachi steak house, and the very fine teppenyaki.

sonJa, V, and I skipped out at the end of the evening to dash to Pier 23 where Pogey was playing – a fun celtic rock band featuring none other than Warren Robert. We even managed an exclusive invitation to the new Common Ground studio – the former Solar Audio, now under Chris Mitchell’s ownership!! We stumbled back to our suite at the fabulous waterfront Marriott, just in time for Jake & Devon to pop over for one last beer (…or 2). All in all, a very fun day – and btw, Toby had left much earlier with Mum & Dad!

Everything else was hectic & fun… too much to go into here. I already write long enough posts! But I must tell you about my welcome back to Kenya – 2 bags delayed, and the one that arrived on time had stuff missing out of it! Get this – 3 single shoes of 3 pairs. Someone must have opened it on one end and reached into the bottom, each time pulling out an unmatched shoe, until they had to give up. Little did they know I bought 10 pairs of shoes while in Canada! I am thoroughly pissed off that I never even got to wear my new Reeboks, only wore my black strappy sandals once, and my favourite blue crocs are no more – they were perfect for Sudan, and of course you can’t even get them over here! (hint hint, they are very light so wouldn’t cost much to ship! ;-) I already got compensated for the delayed bags (which I received 2 days later, all intact), and will get further compensation for the missing items. But what a piss off. The whole reason I buy all of our shoes in Canada is because they’re bloody expensive over here, and the selection is very limited. ARGH!

Thanks to everyone who actually checks up on my little blog – I am surprised & pleased every time someone tells me they read it! Will let you know how the sleep training goes… (he has finally fallen asleep IN THE CRIB!)

gorgeous!

2007-06-13T17:42:00.000-03:00

I'm his mother... I'm allowed to say that!

I realized that I've been posting my recent photos on Facebook & since not everyone is addicted yet, I thought I'd post my favourite shot from South Africa here as well. Will organize & upload photos while in Canada on a faaaast internet connection. (countdown to leaving: 1 week!)

I also thought I should add something after the ridiculously long moving to Sudan post... and thanks to all who have sent me their opinions & comments!

moving to Sudan???

2007-06-06T12:06:00.000-03:00

Warning: this is an exceptionally long post about the possibility of living in Sudan…

I feel I need to write about Sudan, NPA, and specifically Yei. I’m in the Mine Action camp, easily the top of all of NPA’s compounds in Sudan. There are two office blocks, a round meeting room where I prefer to spend my working time, a set of accommodation houses (about 6 one-roomed tukuls plus a bank of adjoined rooms), a kitchen & dining room, and a bar. The tukul itself has a screened porch with a sink, a small bar fridge, mirror, and armchair. The spacious bedroom houses a double bed with fresh sheets, comfy pillows, and mosquito net, plus a desk and chair, and a storage cupboard.

We have power 24-hours from a generator, and an excellent internet connection via C-band satellite. Wireless access covers almost the whole compound, which is about 250m2, and we have a server cabinet with structured cabling. Flush toilets, satellite surround-sound TV, a laundry station, and an outdoor gym round out the facilities. The white-tiled bathroom has about 6 flush toilets on one side, and 6 showers on the other. The hot water is supplied using a system of steel drums, wood fire, and gravity.

The rest of the space contains warehouses (rubbhalls), tents for the deminer teams, a gas-filling station, and a well and water pump with 2 big storage containers on a tower, plus parking for Landcruisers and various specialized landmine-clearance vehicles. It’s a very organized and functional camp.

The food is fantastic, with fresh bread baked in a wood-burning concrete oven every morning, then rice, beef stew, and vegetables with fresh fruit for lunch. Dinners are more imaginiative, with choices ranging from baked-bean and tuna pizza to roasted potatoes, fresh fish, barbequed beef (or occasionally imported pork on Saturdays), chicken curry, or hamburgers, with an occasional custard fruit salad or crème brulee for dessert. There is also a well-stocked beer fridge, with bottled water, sodas, and whiskey also available.

Teak and mango trees abound all over the compound, and a vegetable garden runs along the fence. The area is surrounded by NPA’s agricultural programme’s expansive farm. Yei is in Central Equatoria state, part of the green belt of Southern Sudan. The climate is favourable – warm sunny days interspersed with thunderstorms. The sky is clear blue with fluffy clouds during the day, and brilliant with stars at night. It can get refreshingly cool at night or when the rain comes in, but never cold.

One side of the fence borders the Food Security compound – an equally beautiful & comfortable space. Tha main differences at Food Security are the lack of 24-hour power, flush toilets, sinks in the rooms, and creative meals, but the compound is lovely as well.

These are some of the reasons that I am in the middle of a decision to move to Sudan with Toby and be based in the Mine Action camp for the year 2008.

The are many factors in the decision, of course. Issues to be sorted include whether Anthony will stay in Nairobi with Leah & Kevin to finish his degree at the University of Nairobi, or we send the kids to boarding school and he moves to Merlin’s Juba office. Juba is only 3 hours away on a half-decent road, so we could easily meet on weekends. Many of our staff travel to Yei on the weekends to enjoy the climate and hospitality of the many NPA compounds – in addition to Mine Action, Food Security, and the Yei Agricultural Training Centre (YATC), which are located about 7 km outside of Yei town in Logobero, we have the Community Development Vocational Training Centre (VTC), Yei Hospital, and the Yei Medical Training School (YMTS) all located in Yei town. (The VTC also runs a continuous 6-week IT training course for NGO and government staff throughout Sudan.)

The most crucial factor is whether I can bring Toby to live in Sudan. Practically, it certainly could be done at the MA camp. It’s clean and has all the facilities necessary. The risks include the threat of malaria – the one time I got malaria, it was from Yei – and other disease outbreaks like menengitis, measles, dysentry, cholera, and even polio or yellow fever. Toby’s had all of the vaccinations he’s able to get so far, and the threat of malaria here is not really that high – of course we would protect him with repellents and nets, and ensure everything he ingests is hygenic (bottled water is in regular supply).

I would be able to hire a local housegirl/nanny easily, and she could come to the tukul daily to mind Toby. I could set up a baby monitor or walkie-talkie to listen to him in the evening while I’m at the bar, watching TV, or at the next compound. I believe he would be welcomed by everyone here, and luckily he’s social and generally happy, though it would be a bit odd to have a baby at the dining room for staff meals! Socially, there are other local staff – mostly cleaners and cooks – who have babies in Logobero, and there are other children just outside the compound, along with a 140-child orphanange about 20 minutes walk away. It could be a worry that he might catch something from one of the local children, but I would have to balance the hygeine with acceptable risk. Toby is old enough that he could enjoy the idyllic environment, but young enough not to need to go to school or other developmental facilities. He would certainly miss his brother, sister, and father, and that is a worry – but again, he’s young enough to adapt, and would not remember the details in years to come. Finally, he is an African child, and I would be proud to live with him in a country that both Anthony and I have been supporting for many years. He may also think it was cool that he lived in Sudan in his early years!

In other practical considerations, I would have to find a way to get a regular supply of Pampers, but I could likely go with reusable diapers until he’s toilet trained – which we would have to do as soon as he’s ready. If I move in January 2008, he will be 2 in April, so we might not have to deal with diapers for too much longer. He generally eats what we do, and can switch to Wheatabix instead of cooked porridge for breakfast. He drinks regular milk some of the time already, and since he drinks from a cup so well, I could reduce him to a nighttime bottle only – he’s pretty much down to only 2 bottles a day now, and may even be off them completely by that time.

The benefit for Toby and myself would be the closeness – I would see him more often, since I would be around for lunch every day, and we would be together every evening, night, and weekend. We would become a cosy twosome. I would feel sad about not having Anthony around especially, and of course Leah & Kevin as well. However, taking a Sudan position offers regular R&R – 2 weeks back to Nairobi for every 8 weeks worked, which I can combine with my 30 days of annual leave. The school system in Kenya is scheduled so Leah & Kevin are off every April, August, and December, and I could arrange my calendar to be home most of the time that they are – even working from the Nairobi office for a few days as well.

One issue would be official travel, as I should be in Juba regularly, perhaps 2 times a month, and I would also like to visit other field locations. None of these places are suitable for Toby. So I would have to see if the nanny could stay with him, or find another solution. Related to that is if I do want to go out in the evenings – Yei is a very social place, and there are often parties in CD, Health, or other NGOs, along with different restaurants and bars in town – I can’t stay in Logobero all the time! But I have a feeling that as Toby made friends with the staff, I would have lots of babysitting volunteers. There are several ladies who stay in the camp or just outside, so it’s not insurmountable.

The main benefit to our family is the chance to save enough to be able to move to Canada comfortably in 2009. By accepting a field-based position for a year, my salary would both increase and become tax-free. Our living expenses would drastically decrease, though school fees and such would continue or increase. I can’t see that we would give up the apartment and car in Nairobi, but as it’s only $400/month for the house, and the car is paid for, the convenience of having both for when we are in Nairobi would outweigh the expenses. If Anthony stays in Nairobi we would also increase travel expenses, since it would be wonderful for him to visit us during the middle of each rotation. However, even the little airline that flies direct to Yei is now offering frequent flyer points! Also, it’s cheaper to fly through Kampala, and if we put our minds to it, we could manage personal travel through many avenues. It’s also likely that I could spend a few days of official business in Nairobi every few weeks.

What remains now is to discuss with my husband and then with my boss – luckily they are both agreeable to discussion. I’ve mentioned this to Anthony in brief a few times, and he is always willing to support. African lifestyle is such that people do usually leave their families for work – as Anthony did for his entire career until 2 years ago. Of course it’s usually the man, but in our case, my salary makes a huge difference in so many lives that special consideration is surely worth it!

In my case, I had always wanted to live in the field, but then husband, kids, and finally baby obstructed it. If we could devise a way that would work for us, and even stregthen our family and financial position, I can’t think of a good reason not to do it! Personally, I have become very dedicated to NPA – the goals, operations, and especially the people, both my colleagues and the Sudanese. I cannot imagine working for a different NGO. Furthermore, it’s exceptionally difficult to find a comparable position in ICT in many agencies, and my experience has been so focused in that area that it’s difficult to break into the development or programme side. Working in the field for a year gives an extra prestige to a CV in the humanitarian arena, so it would benefit me professionally. It could have detrimental effects on my technical career path, but we have sufficient complicated technology in Sudan that my skills would certainly not become dusty! (The MA camp houses the big VSAT, plus Cisco router, cabled and wireless networks, and a new file-sharing, antivirus, and backup server to be implemented in August.)

I would need to limit it to a year, mostly because it’s a concrete period of time that I think I could handle. As well, I will need to consider nursery school for Toby soon, and of course the eventual goal of moving the family to Canada. We won’t be waiting too long before Leah and Kevin are teenagers! They will certainly be behind once they are in the Canadian school system – maybe only for the cultural and geographical references in all subjects, but likely in language and math skills as well (not to mention French!). We wouldn’t want to add on top of that the puberty and peer pressures that come with high school!

Another major factor is getting a baby sister for Toby  My original plan was to have two babies in quick succession, so they would match the big kid set, and grow together. So far my plan has been foiled by NPA moving into Sudan, me not having a contract after this year, and if I move back to Canada either with a small baby or pregnant, it will be difficult to find a position. In one way, I’d like to wait until Canada to have the second, but that seems like it will be too far in the future – after all, I would need to find a job and stay in it for at least a year before I could request maternity leave. But the leave is so much longer in Canada, it makes me want to go there just to have a year off! On the other hand, though the maternity leave is only 2 months (with Toby, I took 4 months at half pay), it’s easier to have a baby here since having a fulltime nanny is so easily available.

Now, looking at the option of moving to Yei for 2008, either I get pregnant in the early part of the year and take the last 4 months of my contract off for maternity, or I wait. If I wait until 2010, Toby will be 4½ by the time he gets his baby sister… (actually, that’s not so bad!) Anthony & I will be 37 by that time, maybe 38 by the time she’s born – still not unsurmountable. If I have the baby next year, Toby will be 2½, and I would likely not have a job to return to after my leave… therefore I would have to move to Canada without a financial safety net, and scramble to get a position with a 4-month-old needing daycare plus a 3-year old. Hmm. Can’t make a decision on that just now… (unless Auntie Devon decides to open her own daycare!)

In terms of the feasibility of this idea on the NPA side, our acting Country Director, Dr Elias, has been adament on my position being based in Juba up until a management meeting yesterday. He hasn’t fully given us backing for Yei, but the door was opened. I have already told him that if my position is moving to Juba, I will not be able to accept. Juba does not have a congenial environment at all – it’s extremely hot, dusty, and dirty – and the only accommodation is in an NPA staff guesthouse with tiny rooms, few facilities, no soundproofing, and a dusty courtyard. Fine enough to visit, but staying there with Toby is impossible.

NPA is hosting an organizational consultant right now who is reevaluating the whole moving to Sudan plan. The Oslo office had originally insisted on Juba, since it is the capital of South Sudan, and has political contacts, embassies, and donors operating there. But it’s a very expensive town, with everyone scrambling for space, and all facilities need to be rebuilt. The town was held by the northern Arabs for the war, with the SPLA attacking regularly to recapture it, so it’s shelled, burnt, and mostly destroyed. We can’t buy office or housing there, only rent and rehabilitate ourselves. Our office is on a crowded city plot, and the guesthouses are only minimally accommodating. The debate tabled yesterday focused on utilizing the existing facilities we have in other locations within Sudan until we get land and build permanent facilities in Juba. Since Yei is spacious and holds operations for all of NPA’s programmes, it’s a logical interim location. It’s also very close to Juba as mentioned, so management and others can easily get there for meetings and follow up. The idea is cost effective, sensible, and dare we say obvious, but has historically met resistance from senior management.

What I need to do is to evaluate my idea, discuss deeply with Anthony on the feasibility and benefits, and then introduce the idea to Dr Elias. With the timing of my travels, I will likely not be able to discuss with Dr Elias before August, unless briefly on this trip. However, my job is safe until the end of the year, and I have serious thinking to do anyway, so this could be a realistic timeframe. If I do move into Yei, it wouldn’t be until January 2008 – though I could also look at a 1-month trial maybe in the fall.

What exciting times!

If you have actually read all of this, you must have an opinion – I invite your comments. The reason I needed to write all of this out is because I don’t have anyone to discuss the details with at the moment, so I decided to post it both for feedback, and to illustrate, for those who are interested, the possibilities of life in Sudan. So what do you think??

South Africa

2007-06-03T12:05:00.000-03:00

I have gotten into Facebook so much that I haven’t been updating the blog! (for those of you that haven’t joined yet, go join now!! I find it an excellent & addictive way to keep in touch with friends & family from home)

As I mentioned in the last post, and you may have seen from the photos, Anthony, Toby & I went to South Africa in May. We flew into Johannesburg, stayed the night & visited Soweto, and then flew to Capetown to meet up with Renee. We stayed at her place the first night, and then finally got into my friend and colleague Ken Miller’s brother gorgeous flat. That was our base for the next four days as we Renee trekked us around Capetown, visiting Robben’s Island, Cape Point, the waterfront, and shopping malls. It was wonderful but very cold! Their winter started early – basically just as we got there. So we dashed out to buy jackets and sweaters, bundling Toby up in blankets in the meantime.

We had rented a car to drive up the coast to Durban – it was a tight timeframe, as we had 1600km to cover in about 3 days! Easy enough to do in Canada, but although the roads are excellent in South Africa, they are twisty and turny, and we got lost more than once. We stopped the first night in Mossel Bay, the beginning of the Garden route, and stayed in a backpackers. I must say, backpackers are excellent in South Africa! We got double-ensuites every time, and the only budget concession is that you usually make your own breakfast in the morning. We had amazing South African food and wine at Jazzbury’s, and headed off to Knysna Heads in the morning – simply gorgeous! The coastline and mountainous landscape is just jaw-dropping.

We made it to Cinsta, just past East London and a horrific car accident, the next night and stayed at the Buccaneers backpackers. This is where Bryan, Amrita, and I stayed for my first African Christmas in 2002 – it’s just lovely, overlooking a fantastic beach and lagoon, and they make terrific breakfasts! The next day we headed through the Transkei in KwaZulu-Natal – where Anthony was fascinated to see how the South Africans lived in their rural ‘upcountry.’ We stopped at Nelson Mandela’s youth centre in his hometown, and managed to make it all the way to Durban. We finally located our hotel, the opulent Durban Manor, built around 1900 and reminiscent of the Lord Nelson. We shopped till we dropped the next day, and flew back to Joburg for the night. We were exceptionally exhausted after the long days of driving, so just rested before our flight back to Nairobi the next morning.

Toby was mostly an excellent traveller, but he did get annoyed at being stuck in the backseat for so long during the road trip. He’s definitely harder to restrain on the plane – I can only hope that he travels well when we fly to Norway & Canada !

I am in Sudan now, finalizing an electrical project that my department completed this week to re-wire the entire Yei Hospital. The Hospital looks smashing - all lit up like a small city at night. We also installed an internet VSAT, which was cause for more than a few cheers! We celebrated last night with a party that drew people from far & wide. I’ll stay in Yei for a few more days for meetings, then travel by road to Juba, only about 3 hours away on a half-decent road. Back to Nairobi on Friday, then in the office for a week. Toby & I will head to Norway on June 20th where we’ll visit the Norwegian contingent and then to the head office for 3 days before we depart for Canada. We’ll be gone for just over a month – I feel bad for taking Toby away for so long, but he needs to see the rest of his family – as do I!

almost a year!

2007-04-21T16:57:00.000-03:00

Well, Toby’s almost 1! The worst thing is, I leave for Sudan on the morning of his birthday – Wed April 25^th. But I’ll be back on Saturday, so we’ll have a little celebration on the weekend.

He’s been playing football and running around at the Impala Club, a “members-only” (ooh!) sports club I just joined. It’s just up the road, and has football fields, a swimming pool, karate lessons, and all kinds of stuff for the kids – plus a huge screen TV for the Arsenal fans among us. Not to mention a bar! Anthony drinks beer and watches football while I am working out at the brand new gym. And man, that is tough. I just tried aerobics there for the first time – here’s the ungainly white girl among a dozen fluid and coordinated Africans! I had to get extra coaching today after the class from the beefy Kenyan instructor – this HUGE guy prances and kicks like you wouldn’t believe. Anyways, I got some of the moves down… I’ve been going for the 2-hour Sweat Express on Saturdays at 11am, followed by a hot shower, steam room, sauna, and sometimes massage – hey, I need motivation!! Meanwhile, the kids swim and run, and then they have karate at 4pm. Anthony’s 19-year-old cousin Monica has been staying with us for the past 4-5 weeks, so she’s in charge of the baby. It’s working out well (no pun intended)

Toby is very active – or should I say destructive! He shattered a beautiful terracotta vase I had, a lamp specially imported from Dubai, and countless other things around the house. He methodically empties any drawer or cupboard I leave open, and throws anything he can find in the toilet or bathtub. He’s still into dancing – complete with arms going up and down, head shaking, and butt swinging - and loses himself in the classical-music Safaricom commercials whenever they come on TV. He also loves reggae and “You are my sunshine.” He drinks from a cup all by himself, and usually manages to put most of his food into his mouth – though it’s also very fun to throw it all over the floor and grind it into his hair, typical I guess! He takes about 4 bottles a day, and still breastfeeds during the night – I guess it’s working, because he’s never had a cold, ear infection, or anything. I’ll keep up as long as he wants and I still have some for him! He has burnt himself now twice (the latest time on the lightbulb of the new lamp), but hasn’t had many painful accidents lately.

Toby babbles a lot, and has a few words - he says ‘baby’ all the time – everyone’s a baby to him – and ‘Baba’ (that’s Daddy in Swahili), and ‘puchie-puchie’ or ‘piki-pki’ (we don’t really know what those mean!). He also says “BA!” for peekaboo, and has started to learn a Dutch clap-your-hands song. He loves to read books – Goodnight Moon is his favourite bedtime story – so I got him a few more for his birthday. He’s very happy and social, and enjoys seeing the little bratty Italian kid next door, Jacoma (lord knows why), or any kid at Java House or the grocery store. He loves his brother and sister especially – they can always make him laugh, and they dote on him like crazy. He likes looking at us sideways, and tends to sleep on my head (he loves my hair). We try to put him down in the crib, but he’ll cry and complain until I put him on our bed – even if we’re not there, he falls asleep within seconds. He usually wakes up everything 3-4 hours – have never really been able to cure him of that - since he sleeps in our room, letting him cry simply does not work. But he goes back to sleep fairly quickly, so it’s not a big problem to us. He wakes up smiling in the morning, and gets busy scattering things all over our room.

All in all, it’s been a wonderful year, and we look forward to the next! Coming right up, the three of us - Anthony, Toby, and I – are heading to South Africa next month for 10 days to visit Renee and see the lay of the land. Anthony doesn’t have enough vacation time to come to Canada this year since he took 3 weeks for paternity leave last year and a month in Canada at Christmas, so we’ll use his ticket money for a South African vacation instead (YAH!)! Then Toby and I will head to Norway in June to meet up with Anniken, Sokoi, and little Alexander, and visit Finn and Aslaug at their cottage. I’ll put in a few days in the office while Anniken (or likely Sikoi!) babysits. We’ll be home by Canada Day for at least 3 weeks – the highlight of the trip will be Shannon & Philip’s wedding on July 14^th, and we’ll try and schedule a cottage party as well!

My mind is already home – it will be great to see everyone, and to leave Toby with his baby-starved grandparents while I meet up with my friends!

life & death

2007-03-30T05:23:00.000-03:00

in a strange sequence of events, my friend Jeniffer's life has been turned upside down. Her younger sister, Catherine, succumbed to aids-related complications & passed away on Tuesday morning, may her soul rest in peace. I'm sorry that Catherine didn't have enough time to be able to confront her illness, as people on anti-retro-viral (ARV) therapy can live happily for many years after diagnosis. As I told her niece Terry, Jeniffer's daughter, Catherine is no longer suffering, but is in heaven with Terry's new baby brother, who is about to be born....

And born he was! on Wed March 28th, around 630pm. Jeniffer is fiercely independent, and is entering into single-parenthood for the second time, with 11 years in between Terry and new Matthias Leo. So independent that she got dropped off at the hospital, checked herself in at 6cm dilated, and proceeded to labour alone... till I showed up! I thought that everyone should at least have someone with her when labouring! I got there around 1:30pm, and she was in pre-hard-labour, easily sitting, chatting, and laughing with me. But they had just given her "the drip," so by 3pm, she was in heavy labour. By that time she was grateful to have someone around, as she was really feeling it.

They hooked her up to a fetal monitor, and I could see the heartbeat and contractions, very cool! I filled her in on the readings, and massaged her back, told her to breathe, relax, drink water, etc. Not bad for a first time mid-wife!! But by 5pm, the baby's head still wasn't engaged, and also he was a bit post-mature (she was 2 weeks overdue). The doctor said the uterus was contracting too much, and the baby wasn't progressing, so he asked Jeniffer's consent for a c-section. He had previously told her it would be a possibility, so she was prepared, and practically jumped at the chance! Just as she was being prepped for theatre, her sister, brother, and cousins showed up. Jeniffer had refused to let me update them, though I sneaked in a couple of messages to her home phone, but now they were anxious. We sent her off to the OR, and waited.... Matthias showed up around 7pm, and Jeniffer followed from the recovery room around an hour later. She was lucid & happy, and we left her to rest.

stuck in sudan

2007-03-24T12:15:00.000-03:00

after waking up to a terrible hangover, I heard a land cruiser backing up to my room - gotta fly! plane is landing! so we drove frantically to the airstrip over bumpy roads, narrowly avoiding motorbikes, pedestrians, and bicycles, to find that the plane had already left. it usually doesn't leave until sometime in the afternoon, but this time it was gone by noon. no word from the airline that the damned thing was leaving early! I was all set to get back and be with the baby & kids, and a few tears leaked out. last time Anthony brought them all to the airport to get me, and we went out to a great new western kenya restaurant, complete with live traditional entertainment - so I was looking forward to the same. no such luck. I'll get home on Monday if there's any space left on the tiny aircraft - only 8 seats or so! *fingers crossed*

so now I'm here in Yei for the weekend, nothing to do, just missing Toby.... I'll really miss our family Sunday - after Anthony takes the kids for haircuts/braiding and goes shopping for fresh food, we usually go to the impala club to play football, swim, and let Toby run around on the grass. sigh. however, the mine action guys are having bbq'ed pork for dinner, and I heard a rumor that there's a nice bottle of whiskey around, so I'll have to make the most of it!

cape2cape

2007-03-22T16:57:00.000-03:00

If you want to see Sudan, check Jarle's site! I met him in Yei 2 weeks ago - he's writing a book about children in Africa, traveling in his hotted-up Landrover from Capetown to Cairo and around Africa. If you go to the countries page, and into Sudan, you'll find his photo slideshows - specifically the 3rd (Juba) and 4th (NPA's Mine Action programme) show where I often travel. Click on March 2007 in the Frontpage Archive and you'll see Yei. He also has a great PDF on the main page about the NPA demining programme. He's a great photographer - his photos do much more justice than mine!

We spent a long night and a bottle of whiskey trying to sort out his computer's virus problem - which quickly became my problem when mine got infected too!

injuries

2007-03-22T16:40:00.000-03:00

babies hurt themselves... a lot. it doesn't help when mum is distracted!

toby had two accidents recently - but he's fine, don't worry! The first involved him flying off the changing table head first while I turned to get a kleenex. Luckily he's been falling often enough while walking that he had the sense to put out his arms first - but he still ended up with a bloody nose. He was shaken and not himself for a while, so I took him to the doctor... all fine. But I still have the slow motion image in my head of him falling through the air.... He's never before even attempted to get off the changing table - but I will never take my hands off him again!

the second was a bit more serious - I was making lasagna for the first time in ages, and didn't realize that the oven door would get quite so hot - in Canada we have insulated ovens! Leah was watching him playing on the kitchen floor while I put the lasagna together, so my back was facing them. A bone-piercing scream suddenly ripped through the kitchen, but I didn't really react, because he's often falling and bonking his head. I calmly turned and asked Leah what happened, and she nonchalantly told me, oh, he touched the oven. WHAT!!

I grabbed him and ran his hands under cold water, and he screamed and screamed. For an hour, actually. I could see that the burns were not so bad - no blisters (yet) or torn flesh - but he could not calm down. I put cooling gel, and ice, and everything I could think of, to no avail. Finally I told Anthony to get in the car and we headed to the doctor. I figured either he'd fall asleep or the doctor would give him something to put him out of his misery (not permanently!). He fell asleep. Deep. So we turned around, drove back home, and he was fine the next day. He did develop blisters, big nasty ones on his fingertips and palm, but within 2 days they came off and he had fresh new baby skin all ready and waiting. And never another peep of pain.

but I still have nightmares..!

standing & walking!

2007-03-06T10:02:00.000-04:00

it's confirmed - Toby can walk on his own! he's been taking baby steps a little cautiously for about a week now, and standing anywhere quite confidently - even in the tub! he's pretty damned pleased with himself too :-)

finally!

2007-03-04T17:52:00.000-04:00

Toby fell asleep in his crib tonight for the first time ever! So far we have to get him to sleep first through a combination of bath, story, bottle, and lullabies. Heaven forbid if he should wake up as we're gently placing him in the crib (aka prison). I tried last night, and he screamed and bawled until I relented and put him on our bed - where he fell asleep within seconds. But tonight - success! We did the bath routine, and then I popped him right in the crib and stuck a bottle in his mouth. I hung over the side reading him a story while he got sleepier and sleepier, and then finally his eyes stayed closed. Yay! I think we'll have to change the routine to bottle in the crib, not before!

Anthony went home to Kitale tonight - he starts a month of unpaid leave tomorrow while he is doing a co-op in the social work department of a nearby hospital. But since we went to my home for Christmas, and he's so freakin' busy with work, school, and truck, he hasn't been home since last September. Neither have I, for that matter - but I really don't want to take one of those up-country buses with the baby, and we never seem to have enough time to drive there together. Hopefully we can all go in April when the kids are off school for a month...

Anthony will be back by Wednesday so I can go to Yei again until Saturday. And then I really must get a new passport, so no travel for 3 weeks!

I've posted more photos, check 'em out!

10 month happenings

2007-03-03T07:07:00.000-04:00

When I got back from Yei, I discovered Toby had learned how to stand and even take a couple of steps, eat with a spoon, and get down off the bed or couch – all by himself! It’s amazing how quickly babies change! I had been teaching him for the past couple of months to get his feet over the side of the bed, since he had developed a propensity to pitch over onto his head. I’m relieved he finally got the hang of it.

Toby loves stories – especially picture of babies and kitties, who he waves at vigorously. He has figured out that the baby in the mirror is himself, and so also waves at baby Toby, and the picture of the baby on the shampoo bottle, etc. With the start of self-awareness comes a little more of fear of new people, and a few more tears when I or anyone leaves the house. When I come home he needs to spend some time hugging me, patting my back, and playing with my hair. When Baba comes home, Toby follows him around and does a little dance – head & butt shaking, and a huge grin plastered on his face. He points at things he likes or wants, and gestures for us to come to him. He loves the bath, and laughs uproariously when Leah runs in and out of the bathroom screaming & laughing. He’s still not sleeping through the night, but only wakes up momentarily while we rock him back to sleep. He’s most comfortable sleeping with mama & baba, but manages to spend most of the night in his crib.

The funniest was when we returned from Lamu – he was so excited to see Leah & Gigi! Maybe he thought we were never coming home… Renee had come to Nairobi on her way through from Rwanda to Capetown, but she was refused boarding due to lack of pages in her passport. We went to the High Commission to sort it all out, and she ended up with an extra week in Kenya. So we went to the travel agent and booked a weekend in Lamu! It’s a small island on the Indian Ocean coast that I’ve always wanted to visit – no cars, only donkeys, and a timeless Arabian atmosphere. We took turns tying Toby on our backs and tossing him into the ocean (he loves swimming). We walked around the pathways of the old town, discovering beautifully decorated spaces – shops and hotels, all done in the serene Swahili style. I ordered Lamu crab, and Anniken’s recommendation was spot on – delicious!

I got back in time to head to Juba again for a night, where I relaxed on the banks of the Nile with my colleagues until 4am… though the luxury tented camp was hardly worth the 3 hours of sleep or so. Juba is HOT.

I also finished the book Out of America, by Keith Richburg, an American journalist totally demoralized by Africa. Sometimes I understand what he means, but sometimes it’s gratifying to see the good side of the continent as well…

back in sudan

2007-02-15T15:20:00.000-04:00

here I am in Yei, south Sudan again! It's been well over a year since I could travel into the field, what with the health risks during pregnancy and then a new baby, but I am making up for it over the past month. Anthony is a particularly gender-aware Kenyan (usually an oxymoron), and actively encouraged me to get traveling again. Though my office is in Nairobi, most of NPA's Sudan programme actually takes place in Sudan (go figure), and I have a duty to be there.

The first trip was HARD... for me, not the baby!! I went to Yei about 3 weeks ago for 4 whole nights. I cried every time I talked to Anthony because I couldn't believe I had left Toby! I felt horrendously guilty... though Toby was just fine, of course. The next time was a bit easier, though it was only for 2 nights to Juba, capital of South Sudan. I went again to Juba, and now am back in Yei. I feel a lot more comfortable leaving him now, though I often wonder if I am doing any damage to his developing psyche. Not that he'll remember the specifics, but maybe having an unreliable mum is not good for his brain development. Then I remember that his beloved Baba, Gigi, Leah, and Modesta are there, and I'm sure he's still trusting in that his "people" are there for him, even if I'm not....

The first time I came home, he was playing on the floor with Modesta, and couldn't believe his eyes when I walked through the door. He was so shocked! His arms flew up in the air, he did a double take, and he rushed over to greet me, grinning like no tomorrow. I was very relieved that neither had he forgotten me, nor was he mad. The next times he was happy to see me - more like the normal way when I return from work in Nairobi, but he spends a lot longer on the hugs. So I guess he's getting used to it.

I had wanted to bring him to Yei with me - it's a very pleasant place, we are well catered for in the camps, and I could easily hire a local lady to take care of him while I work. Unfortunately, they also have malaria, meningitis, and measles around here, though the chances of contracting anything would be pretty small in the camps. Our chief medic asked me, 'Now tell me again exactly why do you want to risk your baby's life??' It would be easier to have him here, and I'd be able to stay in the field longer, but I just can't take the risk.

Anthony's in a gender class now at the University, and his classmates are in awe of his ability to take care of a baby while his wife travels. Pretty special guy, that Antonio! I missed Valentine's Day but left him a box of chocolate cherry kisses and a card for the best husband in Kenya ;)

singing & dancing

2007-02-05T10:18:00.000-04:00

Toby loves music so much it's hilarious! As soon as he hears a tune -
whether from a cell phone, cd, or his lullaby music box - he starts
bobbing his head and kicking his legs, with a huge grin on his face.
It works wonders when he's upset - even when he's on the changing
table! He's also starting to "sing" - though at this point he's
absolutely monotone and doesn't know any words at all, let alone
lyrics!! But he is definitely singing along - he only does it to the
music, and when it stops, so does he. He's also bigtime into the
b-b-b sound of flipping his lip with his very own finger.

...yes, this is news!! haha

christmas in canada - and london!

2007-02-03T19:30:00.000-04:00

Of course, we did have a wonderful Christmas, and one thing I can say without any guilt whatsoever is that it’s absolutely wonderful to be with family & friends. We got in lots of parties and a few evenings out while Toby stayed with his grandparents. We visited with lots of family, mostly on my mum’s side, and got to see most of my friends at least once. Toby was baptised on New year’s Day, and for the first time in memory, I didn’t drink a drop that night! I figured we were already ‘out’ for New Year’s – Sackville is a long way from Kenya after all!! Jake called from his job on a boat off Newfoundland, and Devon came over after a fancy party she went to. Sometimes all you need is family…

Unfortunately we were plagued with a fair amount of sickness, from the odd cold to the Norwalk virus at the end of the trip – the whole family was barfing! (except Anthony, funny enough!). Tremblay was also down with an illness and we didn’t meet up again due to the combined contagious factor. We ended up cancelling the combined ‘Farewell to J’ and ‘Welcome back to Jake’ party, and I didn’t get to see quite a few people that I meant to, among them my cousin Sue’s new baby girl. We had a great evening planned – after a round of visiting during the day, we were planning to meet up with our hockey-loving friends and take Anthony to his first live ice hockey game! A few hotdogs & beers for supper, then to see my old friend Warren in Pogey at the Old Triangle. Alas, it was not to be… we were lucky to make it out the following Tuesday to London! I hope Jeff & Donna survived as we didn’t quite realize we may have been still infectious and spent a fair amount of time at their place…

It seems I’m talking mostly about what we didn’t do! But we did watch a couple movies (Blood Diamond is a MUST, though I cried through most of it), hung out with Angela and friends at the best restaurant in Enfield, had dinner with Danette and her French boyfriend at Finbar’s, saw the Suades at Key Largo’s, partied at Jeff’n’Donna’s Christmas tradition, hung out with Tracey & Ronnie and then caught up with SHL folk at Jo’s party, and various other events – though I must say, I felt more low-key than I ever have before! Nowadays it’s exciting to watch Mum or V bath Toby, or watch Air Farce with Dad while Toby falls asleep in his arms. Hmm.

The only other thing that we didn’t get a lot of is… snow! I guess it’ll have to wait for Anthony’s next trip to Canada – this time it was unseasonably warm, and in fact Anthony was outside in just a T-shirt on more than one occasion. He saw snow falling once, and we did get a dusting on the ground, but no good blizzards.

We were sad to leave, but pushed on to London, where Anthony had the time of his life – at the Emirates stadium, home of the Arsenal! We didn’t get to see a game as the date was pushed back, but the stadium tour was a great alternative. Anthony was thrilled! After walking around London for a couple of days with Toby in a babypack, I was worn out, but we found a few restaurants that accepted our little baby in, and had a great time. I went back to the hotel with a bottle of wine while Anthony went to the pub & watched the game. In fact we may take advantage of Anthony’s visa and go again in the spring… next time with a babysitter!

After a bit of hell on the way home with delayed flights, we made it, and the kids arrived from Kitale with Anthony’s brother the following day. We had tonnes of gifts for them, and they had lots of stories! And even if it was unusually warm in Nova Scotia, it sure was nice to get into the hot African sun back in Kenya!

More Christmas and London photos

weighty thoughts

2007-02-03T18:50:00.000-04:00

It was easy to slip back into the Canadian traditions, though I hadn’t been home at Christmas for 5 years. I brought gifts hand made in Kenya so I didn’t really need to shop for generic goods – but I offered shopping services for a few people just for the fun of it! I thoroughly enjoyed going from store to store, examining so many lovely things.. luxury and frivolity is not something there’s a lot of in Kenya. In some ways I feel relieved that all of these things – delicious food and luxury items - so easily available and within almost everyone’s reach - like this is the way life is supposed to be.

And then, I remember Kenya... where a lot mothers have to feed a whole family on less than 50 cents a day. Tea for breakfast if you’re lucky enough to have tea leaves, sugar, milk, and clean drinking water – any one or more of those items can be out of reach. Ugali every day - not because it’s delicious, but because it does a good job of filling up stomachs. Most people only have meat once in a week or less – most days people survive on greens and ugali, or maybe beans and maize. And that’s Kenya, a peaceful and lucky nation by far. It gets worse in places like Sudan, where kids think food falls from the sky, because it has been for a full generation. And if the big loud bird doesn’t roar overhead and drop its bulky cargo, they simply don’t eat.

For me, it’s easy to slip back into the luxurious, entitled world in which I was raised. It’s simple, and familiar. I can start thinking about which orange juice to buy, or what colour to paint the walls, or if one more pair of shoes will fit in my closet, or how large of a TV I need. Should I buy a new car or one that’s a couple of years old? Should I buy a house with 3 or 4 bathrooms? Should I go to Mexico or Jamaica on my holiday? Should I get floor or upper bowl seats to that concert? These are important decisions!

The only thing that gets me – and really, I am not judging, because I too am one of the entitled – it that none of these questions could possibly even enter the heads of millions of people. They are thinking about the essentials in life – such as how can I scrape enough together to make dinner, or how will I pay my children’s school fees this term, or how will I get to my job when the public transport hikes the fare? Can I raise enough money from my family, friends, and co-workers to get my relative’s body out of the morgue? Can I afford the medicine for my sick mother? Shall I send my child out onto the street to beg because kids always make more and then we’ll all have enough to eat?

That’s probably one of the reasons I live here in Kenya – guilt. Guilt that if I moved back to Canada, everything would be easy and privileged for me again. I could ignore the other parts of the world again, because they would not affect my comfortable life in any way, and I could get back to making the easy choices. But why is it that I have been given the opportunity to spend more on a dinner out than a lot of people make in a month? Will it begin to bother me that my neighbour or cousin has the latest and greatest and mine isn’t quite as good? Will I forget the meaning of a dollar when I have thousands of them every month?

Why do I have so much when so many have so little?

so I'm a poopyhead too....

2006-12-04T08:03:00.001-04:00

Am really getting beat up for the lack of updates! but Mr. Poopyhead is keeping me busy, and work certainly hasn't slowed down any!

I did post 6-months photos on Epson- even those of his wee operation (no, not that wee-wee!). He was tongue tied, with his tongue attached just behind his teeth, so that had to be snipped & stitched. Very conveniently for us, the local maxilofacial surgeon is our next door neighbour (Baba Joy, for those that have been here!). Tobes was good-natured in the hospital (though I was a nervous wreck) and just a little pathetic afterwards - poopy drawers and bouts of crankiness - but within a few days he was a-ok.

Since then he's developed a lot - from sitting to standing himself up on pretty much anything, to becoming a practically expert crawler! Yep, he's motoring around the place like crazy - nothing is safe any more, and he's getting his fair share of bumps on the head. He's now 7 months + 1 week - I have no idea if he should be crawling or walking from item to item in the living room, but it's a bit nerve-wracking!

We're having "issues" getting him to sleep in his own bed (crib) - but at least he has one now! We also got a cool modular high-chair to round out the baby furniture. He still needs to be comforted to sleep - either wheeled around the compound by Modesta, nursed by me, or sometimes a bottle from Baba works too (Anthony's the official bottler - and Toby has learned to take it now too, thank heavens). He eats like a Voerman - loves everything we give him and wants more. He shouts, laughs, & farts a lot too (great-Opa?)

Anniken was here until just the other day, so we got to see her expanding belly (due in Feb) . Haven't seen much of Jeniffer's lately though! (also due in Feb). We've been out with Finn & Aslaug quite a bit recently, including Leah's birthday party on Nov 12 and a day trip to Lake Naivasha.

Now we're already into planning Toby's first Christmas - and Anthony's first Canadian Christmas - and my first since 2001! We arrive on Dec 19 and depart on Jan 9... Christmas shopping is a bit different here but that's another post altogether.

Toby's into almost all of the outfits we received when I was home in the summer, and looks pretty snazzy in all of 'em (if I do say so myself!) ....many many tonnes of thanks again!

See you soon!

5 months already?!

2006-09-27T15:26:00.000-03:00

yep, here he is, getting all big n stuff! He doesn't hate being on his tummy as much, and seems ready to crawl any day now. I haven't taken him to the doctor for his 5-month check up, but he's definitely gained weight - what with all this pureed fruit & cereal! he also seems taller. Renee said she noticed a BIG difference when she saw him again after climbing Mt Kenya for 11 days (she's now diving at the coast but will be back on the weekend).

he's sitting pretty and still making bbbb sounds, and laughs on demand - but only for Leah! the rest of us get huge smiles, but laughing is reserved for his big sister... all she needs to do is smile and giggle, and he's off!

he's now wearing some of the cool big-baby clothes he got in Canada... but his mother is back into her pre-pregnancy jeans.... YAY!! finally. I guess the gym paid off - but since I've been back at work, the gym has not fit into my schedule. However, work is going fine - I'm managing to get home every day for lunch and mostly home on time in the evning... just a bit tired, but thank heavens he's a good sleeper! in fact he can now get to sleep in the evening all by himself, and only wakes around midnight - then not again till 6 or 7am... right on!

photos

2006-09-15T11:21:00.000-03:00

travels & work

2006-09-14T16:35:00.000-03:00

renee is here and we've been travelling all over - first with the whole fam damily up to kitale to show her anthony's home village, and then just us 3 to mombasa on the train. toby's been just fantastic - he's eating all kinds of stuff now, drinking out of a cup (he never got the hang of the bottle), and started sitting on his own last weekend! he's also laughing and saying wet gurgly "bbbbb" a lot. he was doused with holy water and dunked in the ocean... he's been held by his great grandmother's arthtritic arms and fawned over by renee.

he's been exceptionally well behaved this week as I started back to work. I was reluctant to leave him but it feels good to be back in the office too. I am coming home at lunch time to make sure he gets enough liquids in between the porridge, papaya, and potatoes! every time I've come home he's been happy & smiling, and now reaches out his arms to me... how utterly adorable :)

HB to me!

2006-08-30T05:47:00.000-03:00

my 34th was yesterday, but I keep recalling last year's - that's when I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant!

Anthony & I had just returned from our trip to Canada, passing through Dubai on the way back home. Dubai was (is) the hottest place on earth, and I felt miserable... but I chalked it up to to the fact that I was tired from the hectic agenda we had just completed, and maybe a bit affected by quitting smoking. I used the long flights to assist me in quitting - I had decided earlier that I would quit on the way home since we were 'trying' to become pregnant!

While I was in Canada, there were a number of things that should have given me a clue, but didn't... I had gained a few pounds (much to my chagrin), and Zita's comment about my new bust size went right over my head. I scarfed down copious amounts of broccoli salad and didn't much feel like drinking (alcohol I mean!). I started getting this awful back pain in Toronto - so bad that it prevented me from walking much - and I had never felt like that before. I was also way tired and totally wanted to be in bed around 8pm! All of these are completely unlike un-pregnant me, so I don't know why I didn't clue in....

Last year, my birthday was on Monday - my first day back to work after our vacation. I woke up super early and started exercising before breakfast, doing a simple routine in my bedroom to try and work on that weight gain problem. But then I felt sick! I didn't think I was that out of shape, but figured maybe I should eat something. I made toast and planned to have it with blueberry jam - but for some reason, the toast smelled so yucky I thought I'd barf for sure... weird! At that point, it dawned on me.... DUH!

I did go to work, excited & hopeful the whole day. I stopped by Nairobi Women's Hospital on the way home for a test - the at-home tests aren't so common here so I thought I'd just go straight to the clinic. POSITIVE! I couldn't believe it... I was shaking & my life was passing before my eyes. ME! PREGNANT!! And already married and everything! Like, I'm allowed to be pregnant, this is a good thing! But it means that I'm HAVING A BABY! .....ME!!

I brought home the 'positive' paper to Anthony and he broke into a big grin & did a little dance. Yay! We're gonna be parents!

....so, though nothing can top the news of Toby as my best birthday present, thanks for all of the greetings sent to me yesterday :)

baby food & other stuff

2006-08-28T18:19:00.000-03:00

Toby is becoming more irresistably baby-ish by day!

He gurgles, razzes, & squeals in delight, and babbles (in what Gigi calls Chinese) frequently. We have lots of spit-filled conversations. He knows his sister & brother, and of course Baba - loves playing with all of them. He scrunches up with a big grin when Baba comes home after work. He also recognizes his toys - still loves the bed post and cell phone but has expanded his circle of friends. The light-up dolphin is a winner - can't remember who gave it to him, but he loves it!

He loves standing on his own two feet - always has, but now it's an obsession. He could be crying and complaining, but if I haul him up on his feet, he breaks into a big grin. He's very strong and not delicate at all. He also knows how to use his hands - grabs almost anything, though very meticulously, and then proceeds to shove it straight into his mouth. The kids ask me why he always wants to suck things - Anthony tells them it's a baby's work!

He sits on his own for a few seconds at a time till he plops over on his face, but it won't be long... He still hates being on his tummy - he shouts and grunts a lot and drools, but is finally starting to get somewhere - the precursor to crawling I suppose.

He smiles and pants when he makes eye contact with me, and loves the sound of my fingertips typing (luckily ;) He gets mixed up with coughing and laughing - I swear sometimes he means to laugh but he coughs instead! He does make a few little giggles every now and then - definitely the sweetest thing to a mama's ear!

We are having an interesting time experimenting with formula - I thought I should at least introduce it to him as a just-in-case. Though I am trying to continue breastfeeding as much and as long as possible, it would be nice to have a back up. After all, it's not poison! So I gave him a little bottle... NO WAY! He fought the plastic nipple, cried, and generally hated it. Then I had the bright idea of taking off the top - so I gave it to him in cup format, and he loved it! He has always been interested in what we eat and drink, and likes grabbing at our cups. ...as long as he doesn't get into all of Anthony's drinks we'll be fine (see photo - for some reason I can
t upload the damn photo here!)

Tried it again the next day and the same thing happened - I guess the messy version - with the cup - wins! He also likes chomping on orange peels with a bit of fruit and pineapple chunks - he gums them for the juice (yes, he's supervised! I hold it for him).

I also started him on cereal once he turned 4 months on Aug 25th (6.7 kg, almost 15 lbs), and tonight he had a full meal - peas mashed up with potatoes and formula, and liquified papaya for dessert - YUM! Having him on 'solid' food should also help with when I return to work. That said, he can go for 3-4 hours without being fed during the day, mostly when I go to the gym. He doesn't complain about being hungry till he actually sees me again. So I'm hoping that I can feed him some solida food before work and then come home for lunch... I will likely return in the 2nd week of Sept. Renee arrived last week, so I'd like to take a week of my annual leave while she's here. She's getting lots of practice at being an auntie - and teaching him how to walk (or run marathons - he is Kenyan!!)

oh, and he's very popular with the neighbourhood girls ;)

more photos posted on Epson

Back in Kenya

2006-08-16T13:30:00.000-03:00

The rest of the trip was great! In addition to the rock concert, Tattoo, and cottage party, we also took Toby to the Jazz Fest, to the Changing of the Guard special event at Citadel Hill, and out for more parties & showers. Of note was my grandfather Jack's 92nd Birthday Party at the Inn on the Lake... a wonderful tradition of gathering the whole family he instilled almost 20 years ago. My cousin Charlotte had a family shower for us, and we received lots of generous gifts both there and throughout our visit. We had another great Farewell to Nova Scotia party, and jetted off to Toronto for a few days to stay with sonJa - thanks to Joan, Shannon, and of course sonJa, Tara & JC for the fun, gifties, and sushi!

The trip back was fairly uneventful... After narrowly avoiding paying for extra baggage, we had our choice of seats on the Air Canada flight. Of course we enjoyed our reunion with Anthony, Kevin, and Leah, but I'm starting to miss Canada more - it was a bit difficult adjusting back to Kenya this time. I am going to start getting my ducks in a row to move us to Canada - but calm down, it will take a couple of years at least - for Anthony to finish his diploma at university, and most important, for us to save enough $$$ both to move and to have a down payment on a house!

Toby weighed in at 6.1kg (13-1/2 pounds) at the beginning of August, and had his second round of immunizations - this time I was prepared, I gave him the baby tylenol right away. He was fine till he woke up from a nap a few hours later crying to make my heart break :( I just gave him another dose and rocked him back to sleep. He was feeling fine the next day when we went to the kids' school for closing day - they are off for the month of August. Then I had to figure out what to do with the kids every day for a month! I have joined a gym here that has an outdoor track and playground - have been bringing them to walk with Toby while I work out, and Kevin just started extra tuition on Monday. My trainer said 45 minutes of cardio 4 times a week to lose the babyfat!! Yikes.
But so far so good, have been going on schedule (even while my househelp was off for a week!) and can already feel a difference. Am trying to do some form of exercise every single day - even if it's walking Toby up to Nakumatt (it does include a steep hill ;)

Sorry I haven't posted an update in soooo long, but I had nasty viruses on my poor little laptop, and it took me ages to get rid of it (I was very stubborn and tried to do everything possible to avoid reformatting, but eventually I just did it and am very happy with the result... should have just done it to begin with!)

ttyl!

partyin' in canada

2006-07-12T00:50:00.000-03:00

Toby enjoying toys n stuff lent to him by my friends and relatives in Canada

Yes we made it! No problems at all on the flight.... but I may take this opportunity to bash Air Canada a bit - they stuck us in the middle seat of the middle section of the plane! Not like British Airways, who placed us in comfortable bulkhead seats, complete with pull-down shelf for a bassinet. On BA I was seated next to a guy from PEI who works for an oil company in Sudan - the dark side! - and we all managed to get some sleep on the 9-hour trip. However, on AC from London to Halifax (via NFLD, ugh) I had to keep Toby in my lap the whole time.

Luckily the trip was brightened considerably by my seatmates - Patti the Gypsy Diplomat to my right, and Mohammed the Sri Lankan businessman on my left. It was fortunate to have met them, and we had meaningfully fun conversations. Patti was returning from Freetown, where she had just married a Sierra Leonian - but left him behind so she can get back to Canada and sort out their future. Mohammed flies back and forth to the Middle East, and is welcome to stop by Nairobi (karibu!). Patti worked on healing his headache - in between watching the baby while I went to the washroom, looking at photos of her beloved, and avoiding soy in her lactose- gluten- and taste-free meal.

sonJa with her 4-month-old neice Annastasia

sonJa's trip home mysteriously coincided with mine, and she introduced "Girl-Shannon" to Nova Scotian parties & babies. first event was Canada Day at the Dartmouth waterfront with the Persuaders - Toby's first rock show!

Toby and I visited friends & family, partied all night at least once, and went to a baby shower at the Economy Shoe Shop. Thanks to my great friends, he got a bunch of cool toys, clothes, and books! Then we went to the Royal Nova Soctia International Tattoo - can hardly wait to show the kids (& Anthony) the DVD sonJa bought for them!

The next event was the annual Cottage Party (relatively tame due to the notable absence of Jake, but still a great time), after which Vanessa and I headed to the Cape to visit Toby's great-grandmother....

More photos here.....

the time has come!

2006-06-25T21:49:00.000-03:00

...almost, anyway! it's the night before Toby and I leave for Canada and I can't sleep! I'm so excited to go... but on the other hand, I am not really looking forward to being away for so long. I'm torn! Anthony will really miss Toby - and Toby will miss his Baba. As will the kids miss their little brother... a month seems like forever. Of course I know I will have an awesome time, and I can hardly wait to show Toby his other people, his home and native land... but if Anthony was coming with us, it would make all the difference in the world.

I am also curious as to how this enormously long plane trip will go with a 2-month-old. He's generally such a good baby - but like all of 'em, unpredictable - so I'm a little nervous. He's not at the age yet where he can be distracted by toys or words... Though I will be carrying his favourite meal, what if he starts to holler at an inopportune time? Or what if his little ears plug up and he screams like hell on the plane? [I am checking into the Benedryl advice, and I will make sure he's feeding at take-off and landing!] Then how will I be able to sleep on the plane if I've constantly got one eye (or ear) open, making sure he's ok? What if he poops all over the place?? How will I manage all this for over 24 hours, when I can't even sleep the night before!!!

Wish me luck. We'll see you Canadians soon, eh!

sweden scored!

2006-06-21T09:59:00.000-03:00

Should I cheer or am I actually pissed?

Oh the joys of having 3 males in the house watching 3 world cup games a day for a month....

big smile

2006-06-21T05:36:00.000-03:00

liftin' head

2006-06-19T11:40:00.000-03:00

dooce & development

2006-06-17T06:08:00.000-03:00

dooce - what a cool blog! I have been endlessly searching the net on hot topics such as vaccine poisioning, baby development, and discipline techniques (for Kevin, not Toby!) and stumbled across this site. She's a sarcastic bitch with a flair for words & design - of course I have to read it!

Meanwhile, Toby is multitasking - propped up on a pillow, extremely proud of his ability to both spit up and smile at the same time. He's also pretty good at pooping-while-eating, and flapping his arms around while kicking me in the boob. He has a peculiar expression that includes simultaneous smiling and crying - I suspect that's the no-holds-barred attention getter (it works - like the boob-kicking wouldn't!).

In other development news, he googles a lot now - oops, that's the geek in me, I mean goo-goos - we have lengthy vowel-based conversations with a lot of ah-gas or oh-guhs thrown in. Totally different from his regular n-gaaaaaaaa cry for food, which usually (thankfully) only happens when he's starvin'-hungry. Even in the middle of the night he wakes us up with a polite uh. uh? uh! (and admittedly a few impolite kicks) instead of a shriek.

He squeaks, grunts, and snorts a fair bit, and his funky eyebrow expressions complement his big bright eyes. He loves staring out the window (or at a blank wall) and counts the hanging mosquito net and the bed post among his dear friends. He smiles readily when I wipe his mouth, and he also enjoys regular sneezes. He makes a loud ahh sound after every cough or sneeze - sort of a combination of effort and accomplishment. He's progressed from furious screaming in the bath to serious heavy breathing - I almost think he's starting to enjoy it!

He's been able to hold his head up and stand right on his wee legs since he was born, so that's not new. But now, after lots of furious exercising, he can raise his head up while on his tummy, and sometimes turn himself over. He gets annoyed quickly though - I have a feeling he'll be crawling soon out of sheer frustration.

well, he's furiously knuckle-biting now..... time for the 24-hour buffet!

little snupp'n

2006-06-09T09:20:00.000-03:00

here's the little snupp'n!

(norwegian for sweetie, or so I'm told)

and this is Anniken, my great friend from Norway (getting practice with a baby!)

toby and I went to Mombasa for the weekend! I just had to take him to the ocean... Ivar Aamodt, our friend and colleague, flew in to Nairobi on Friday, and Anniken's bright idea of going to the coast was well received. A couple more colleagues joined us, as well as 'our' maasai Sikoi - Anthony couldn't make it due to work and classes, but worriedly agreed to let us go.

the indian ocean was surprisingly cool (ok it is winter - only 28 degrees!) so I didn't dare dip the baby into the water - he's not that fond of water at the best of times, and it was also windy... He had four volunteer uncles to protect him and cart him around, so he was all good. Ivar even got him smiling on demand! (and yawning apparently.....)

after all that fresh sea air, Toby has been on a growth spurt.. he's getting huge! at his one-month check up he was 4.3kg - almost a kilo since birth - and must have added another by now! he's 6 weeks and still has a very pleasant demeanor, and we are all thrilled to have him around! only 2.5 weeks till we go to Canada!

life with baby

2006-05-19T04:06:00.000-03:00

A month ago today, my parents had just arrived from Canada. Wow, time flies!

After 3-1/2 weeks of getting to know each other, Toby and I are getting along famously. He usually sleeps like a charm, and doesn't mind being carted all over hell & creation (as my mother might say). His pouts are the cutest ever - though it's probably not very nice of me to laugh like crazy whenever he's upset ;)

Apparently boys have this eating thing - so far it's happened twice that he needs to eat continuously for about 24 hours, barely stopping to nap. In a word - ow! He's frantic about it, and frantic means, "hey, let's bite mummy and not let go!" Otherwise the breastfeeding is also going on well - we both got the hang of it and it's usually painless (except as noted).

Along with my parents, we have also hosted Anthony's mother Susanna - the grandparents overlapped for a day or so before my parents left on May 9th, and she is just going back to Kitale today. [My Kiswahili has notably improved.]

In between visitors, we've survived a few colds (including poor little Toby - he's all ok now) stomach upsets (me), and Anniken was just released with a clean bill of health from the presidential suite at Nairobi Hospital. She was determined to be out in time for the 17th of May, which is Norwegian Independence Day, and apparently quite the celebration. She borrowed Leah & Gigi from school and took them to a kid's parade and fun day, complete with Maasai in full regalia................!

crazy little poopyhead

2006-05-03T17:18:00.000-03:00

Well! Babies really do run you off your feet! I tried to have a shower last night for hours, and eventually fell asleep while feeding Toby… then this morning, he was starving again. Eventually I managed, but no sooner had I done that then it was Toby’s turn…

He generally only cries when it’s changing time, bath time, or hungry time. He gets absolutely furious at being dunked in water and screams his head off – Mum says he’s exercising his lungs. I guess. Today he exhausted himself and has been sleeping ever since. Lucky for me – I got caught up on the sleep he stole last night! Even managed to have a sandwich, change a couple of beds, and now here I am, finally updating the blog. [Exciting life, I know]. So, little does he know it, but he’s getting a bath again tonight right before bed – let’s see if he’ll give us more sleeping time!

Toby hasn’t been eating all that frequently during the day, so he does allow me to dash out to do whatever errands I can. Even though it’s only been a week, I feel great as long as I don’t sit too long on my stitches or walk too much. Also I am starting to wear non-maternity clothes – I’m getting back to where I was!

The other day, Mum, Leah, and I went shopping, leaving Dad and Gigi at home with Toby. [Anthony was busy editing the DVD entitled Toby’s Arrival – look for it soon at a Voerman household near you!]. I called home to check in and was greeted with Gigi’s frantic “Could you call back! We are dealing with baby!” We later found out that Toby had started yelling, and then Opa & Gigi discovered a huge poopy… My Dad probably hasn’t changed a diaper in 26 years or so, but did a fine job! He couldn’t decide if Gigi was more of a nuisance or a help, but together they managed.

I am REALLY appreciating having Mum & Dad here – though Mum thinks I’m self sufficient, she’s more help than she knows. Together we change & bath him, and of course exclaim how cute he is at every opportunity. She’s the only one who can comfort him without breastmilk – though Anthony also manages with scary airplane rides (I swear the baby will throw up on him one day). The new Oma & Opa are also fantastic with Leah & Gigi – the kids will totally miss them when they leave!

I want to say a big thank you to everyone who’s sent me congrats and/or stuff – it’s so thoughtful and kind of you to think of us! He’s busy using all of the blankies, clothes, pillows, books, and toys (or will once he’s a bit bigger). I haven’t managed to reply to all of the congratulatory emails, but I do read the messages and sometimes will get my typist to write back ;)

And bless whoever sent soothers ;)

family photos

2006-04-26T14:35:00.000-03:00

Here's the whole new family!

And this was just after the big day, once we got back to the private room. Anthony slept with Toby for hours! (after running out to catch the second half of an Arsenal game - while I slept in a drug-induced stupor)

BTW, Toby will darken up some - he'll end up in between me & Anthony, sort of coffee-with-cream coloured. That's why he's a.k.a Cappuccino Baby!

The new grandparents are VERY happy! And also pleased as punch with their two step-granchildren, Leah & Kevin. This 'instant' family is very effective!

he's here!!!

2006-04-25T22:03:00.000-03:00

Tobias Khisa, 7.5 lbs / 3.4 kg, born April 25, 2006 at 1910 EAT (GMT+3).

Yes, it was incrediby painful! Anthony stayed the whole time, and was mightily impressed with my fortitude - meanwhile, I would have preferred to die! When they say 'pain killer,' they lie..... Damn shots didn't work at all. But I was lucky - it wasn't too long, only 4 hours or so of hard labour after they started the drip to speed things up. Then, once the head popped out, there was no more work - he just slipped out - what a relief!

I'm surprised he's a cutie - I thought all newborns looked all mashed up! He's also really good - no real crying at all, and managed to breastfeed & barf successfully. Since then he's been sleeping with Baba (Anthony) - I had no idea it was 4am already!

going to the hospital!

2006-04-25T03:15:00.000-03:00

FINALLY!!!

water broke, few cramps but nothing regular yet. taking my time having a shower etc., M&D are also getting ready. we'll pick Anthony up from the office along the way.

Last night the baby was really active, moving all around, and I felt like he was trying to bust free. Had a good sleep, then around 630am woke with Anthony as he was getting ready for work. As he was leaving at 730, I felt something like a cork pop (but it hurt quite a bit) - I updated Anthony on the way out, telling him I just may be calling him at the office today! I felt icky & a bit crampy, but nothing major... then I thought it might be just regular Kenya toilet issues!! Went back to bed with the newspaper and a juice, and then whoooosh! Water broke. So that's it kids! Called Anthony at 8am, and here we are, about to go to the hospital!

It turned out better that M&D came a few days before it started - we caught up on so many things (till 3am every night practically!) and got out to a few places. Now they can drive us to the hospital, and then stay with the kids! That's what grandparents are for, right?

As for updates, I will call or SMS (text message) a few people in select countries (notably Canada & Kenya) and ask them to spread the word. Not sure when I will be back online. My phone may not be on in the hospital but we will get the word out.

HERE GOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

damn cold

2006-04-19T10:40:00.000-03:00

still no baby, but have been so sick with a lousy cold that I'm glad it hasn't happened yet! going into delivery while not being able to breathe would have been the worst... what with all that extra pain going on too! no breathing exercises to help, and can't take any drugs while preggers so am miserably sufferin'.

Parents in the air now - they will arrive tomorrow around 1pm my time. have got most of the place ready for them, still a few things to pick up - even on the weekend being sick 'n all was cleaning like a madwoman, but that's good anyways - supposed to keep moving & be active so as to encourage baby to come out!

am starting to recover, at office now for my last day & hope by tomorrow with mum&dad's arrival I will feel better, if not exactly in bar-hopping mode!

will post as soon as I have news :)

network massage

2006-04-06T16:01:00.000-03:00

still going strong, working almost around the clock - but after my doctor's appointment this morning, I decided to see if I could get a massage. lo & behold, there's a physiotherapy clinic in the main hospital building, and they took me in right away! heaven... between an aching neck/shoulder from working too much, and the lower back pain now that the baby has dropped so far, I've really been suffering - today no more!

but the effect was almost ruined by going to the office right after - only because the network migration I've been working on all week is still not completely ok... oh Taide. But I left as quickly as I could for fear of divorce - imagine, a 9-months-pregnant woman getting in trouble by her husband for staying at the office too long!! The surprise was that Anthony had gotten a new TV stand made, so we went to pick it up. Beautiful! We've really been trying to furnish the place properly, what with baby & grandparents coming all at once ;)

oh yeah - the doctor would like to see me this weekend - for delivery, he means! the baby can't possibly get any lower without making his move into the great outdoors, and the doctor would prefer on a weekend when it's quieter. me, I'm suspecting next weekend - my very own easter bunny baby!

long hard night

2006-04-01T04:59:00.000-04:00

Saturday morning, after a long hard night of... work!! (what's worse - if I talk about the baby too much or work?). I switched over the internet connection, back to my favourite provider in the world, Taide (note the heavy sarcasm). All was fine on my end, and then this morning I get woken up by the new finance manager, "we're offline!" So what else is new, Taide?? But it's sorted now, and I'm going to try and sleep again....

I was at the office till midnight, and then joined Anthony's organization's party at a choma joint up the road. Ended up staying until almost 3am - dancing, drinking beer and everything! (ok, one Bryan Adams song and one Tusker baridi for me). But I even feel hungover today - it's amazing what 9 months of utter sobriety will do to ya.

My now weekly doctor check-up was yesterday as well - all fine, baby is really settling down there looking to get out. I wonder if that's related to my sleepy hands - I can hardly feel them typing any more. Driving to work and keeping them up on the steering wheel is a disaster - by the time I reach the office, they're completely asleep. Typing just maintains it. Imagine how I look at the office, trying to elevate my legs and lower my arms all day!

Luckily I have gotten most of the things sorted that I wanted to - as long as I don't go into labour this week, all will be fine. Now time to rest.........

like a madwoman

2006-03-29T15:38:00.000-04:00

the weird pains yesterday really inspired me for today - woke up early and everything! stayed at the office far too late, moving up and down trying to finish as many things as possible... thank heavens one of my staff completed a new network installation in Sudan today - finally - so that means he'll at least be in the office on Monday. the network migration didn't take place due to poor planning on the provider's part - not for lack of trying on my part. you'd think that'd be a Kenyan problem, but nope, they're Norwegian! since we have an offsite management meeting tomorrow, it'll have to get finished on Friday. I sorted out all the paperwork and began to delegate, managing to clear a lot of items on my desk - what remains is a lot of writing, invoice coding (ugh, just what every IT person loves), gear to order, and a W2003 server to wrestle into submission. Here's hoping no more pains, at least until next week!

all this running around has swollen my feet beyond belief - luckily I also have a husband who's in the top 10 of all husbands (so he says - I'd place him closer to #1!). it doesn't hurt to have a late-night football game on either - perfect time for a foot massage! he really is a sweetie.

weird pains

2006-03-28T14:27:00.000-04:00

uh oh, I just got my first strange pains, deep down inside! they seem to have subsided, but I was terrified! mostly because I have too much stuff left to do at work - I can't possibly leave now... I'm counting on 2 more weeks to finish everything up and make sure the place is in good order by then. in that time, I have to migrate an internet connection, hire 2 staff, complete an IT analysis for the Rwanda office, document about 100 procedures, and plow through a mountain of paperwork. not to mention the scads of "other" things.. I think I should just work from home until the contractions overtake me....

in the weird symptom category, my hand have been falling asleep at every opportunity.... I talk on the phone for 5 minutes and my hand is completely asleep. I write on the whiteboard, and my hand snoozes. I have to sleep like a mummy now (no pun intended) with my arms down by my sides, otherwise they get so numb it wakes me up. in between the sleepy hands, insane heartburn, peeing 20 times a night, huge constraining belly, raging hormones, summer heat, and buzzing mosquitoes, I'm lucky to get any sleep at all. And this is before the baby comes - thought I was supposed to rest up now while I had the chance!

And check out those swollen feet.....

2 weeks & counting!

2006-03-27T12:35:00.000-04:00

My first blog ever! I thought I should make an easy-to-maintain record of our first baby since I'm so far way and all...

Due date is April 12th, and it could happen 2 weeks on either side - so any time from now! I've already packed my bag for the hospital. The only problem is I had no idea what to bring for the baby (still finding it hard to believe that I'm going to come home with a baby!). We also got new furniture - I brought an Ikea catalog to a local carpenter and got him to make a changing table - looks nicer in mahogany than pressboard! And a big round dining table so we can host the grandparents properly (Mum & Dad are coming to Kenya on April 19th). Baby likely (hopefully) will be born by then.. so he'll be just over 2 months old by the time I take him to Canada on June 26th.

Now, for names.... I still need suggestions - but his second & last names will be Makasi Khisa. So I need something "normal" to go with that for a first name. My Mum's #1 suggestion is Dennis... but though I loved my Unca Denny, it'd always make me think of Col. R. Sole instead of my little Kenyan boy!

introducing anthony

2006-03-27T12:30:00.000-04:00

Here's my honey!
New Year's, 2005